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So theres this boy...
I have a crush on this boy, lets call him 'TOM'.
Hes cute, nice, popular, jock; the usual. I'm pretty popular but not the most popular, im pretty but not the prettiest ( there r for sure prettyier ppl then me). I am a nice girl, everyone knows but, a couple years ago i did something bad (but by accadent). This 'bad thing'ruined my rep. I really like this boy, and i feel as if he could like me in return but, he is pretty popular and i dont no if hed wannt to go out with a girl who did such a gross thing. I am not really friends with all his friends, but i am pretty close with some of them, and i feel as if he wouldn't want them to know that hes going out with me.
Help?!
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Although you cannot change what happened in the past you shouldn't let your mistake no matter how gross you feel it was to impact on your life now. You are older and wiser and have learned from the experience and moved on.
When it comes to your peers and the event you allude to they have likely forgotten it completely as it was several years ago. It's no longer an issue I'm sure and will not likely crop up on you. The only reason your classmates might ever have to think of it is if you are still apologizing for it and or bringing it up. As hard as it may be--let it go. They certainly have.
It's not at all a factor with dating this guy or trying to. You have a HUGE advantage as you are close to some of his friends. What you ought to do is arrange to hang out with them this weekend and invite him too and get to know eachother. Try to become his friend and see where that takes you first.
If that works out then you can mention you wouldn't mind starting a relationship and ask what he thinks about that. If he genuinely likes you he won't care about a mistake you made ages ago and will only care about who you are now and all the qualities that make up you.
Don't let something in the past keep you from exploring a reationship or friendship for that matter with anyone. People will like you for who you are and nothing else if they are your real friends or potential boyfriend. Go for it!
All he can say to you is "no, i'm not interested." If he brought up your past which he won't just say "It's a shame you feel that way. I'm older and much wiser now." Don't say anything else and let that sit with him as sure enough he'll want to know more about you after that remark.
If anyone brings the past up again just tell them what I said in the paragraph above. Say nothing else about it to anyone and people will stop caring and brand him and or the rumor mongers as jerks.
You have nothing to fear but fear itself here. It's a brand new day, new book, new page in the morning. You get to decide what gets written in that book so go for it. There's not much to lose. I know from helping kids with this in the past.
If you need more help hit my e-mail box up. It would have been helpful to have known what exactly you did that worries you so much now but no matter what it was people forget, move on, forgive and it doesn't influence the present unless you decide to make it do so.
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