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need more help
i asked the question about jealousy and i just thought that since you gave me such good advice id tell you more .. my boyfriend does go on my myspace he even reads my unread messages he doesnt like that i talk to any guys at all so i dont really outside of school .. him and this girl had kind of an online relationship like 8 months ago and he admitted to it and i took him back ive never forgiven him thats why i dont trust him and he knows that because he hasnt given me a reason to. i love him so much and i dont want to breakup .. help me please
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Hey well first of all thanks for the compliment =). Anyway I can understand why you have such a lack of trust in your boyfriend after he had an online relationship for so long. I know you said you love him a lot and don't want to break up with him but that is a really long time to have a "relationship" with someone else right behind your back. I have this theory and it might be completely wrong but I hope this might be the cause. Maybe your boyfriend doesn't trust you either (since you said he doesn't like you talking to other guys) because he knows what he did to you was wrong, so he's afraid that you might do it back (meaning cheat on him) to make yourself feel better. Whereas if he never had this other relationship he might not even think of the possibility of you cheating on him. This really isn't good though and it you want to keep the relationship together you guys have to talk. I know you don't want to hear this and I'm not trying to hurt you (because it's not your fault) but it is actually a proven fact that the majority of guys who cheat on their girlfriends will do it again. But you don't have to worry because there is actually a solution to this problem. Proven facts in various articles show that men who have cheated once continue to do it again because they get away with it. The women is so hurt when she finds out that she doesn't really feel like yelling at the man for what he did and even if you ignored him for weeks or did yell a little bit the fact is you still took him back. Studies show that if you make him feel like what he did was really wrong and have a serious strict discussion about it he will never do this again. I'm assuming this is why you still don't trust him. You're afraid he's going to do it again even if you haven't consiously realized this yet. What I would do is have a serious discussion with your boyfriend about why you don't trust him. Tell him how hurt you were when he did what he did and how wrong it was. Make him feel so lucky that you took him back because what he did was beyond wrong. You have to stand your ground or you guys will never be able to trust eachother and the relationship won't work. Trust is the number one factor in a relationship. Next, bring up the fact that you're really uncomfortable about him looking at your myspace also because it makes you feel as if he doesn't trust you either when you did nothing wrong. Make sure you get the point accross that you would never cheat on him or on anyone because you know it's wrong and how much it hurts. I seriously think this will work out really well because rather then continue to sneak around the real problem, you'll both be able to be up front about it and finally settle the issue that's destroying your relationship. Just call him to come over one day or make some time when you know you'll both be alone so you can talk it all out. I seriously think it will repair your relationship =). If you find out he did it again no matter what reason, Please don't go back to him. But don't worry I believe that once this is all worked out you guys will be back on the road to a healthy, happy relationship. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
Chrissabelle<3
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