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Clouded Mind
This is some heavy stuff. So get ready:
I am 16 now. When I was 14 I asked this girl out that I had liked a lot for a long time, and got a no. Soon after, I was curious and looked up gay porn on limewire. Eventually, it became an obsession. In my mind, I am not gay. I loved this girl and have loved others, and could NEVER have the same feeling with a guy. However, guys are my sexual preference. At this age, hormones are anything so that side of me is winning over. I have been on gay hookup sites and have tried hooking up with five guys, two have even came to my door. The first I closed the door on, and the second I chickened out and hid in the house before he left my front door.
I just can't stop trying to hook up, even though I know I'm going to chicken out. I just want to be happy and I feel the sexual frustrations need to be relieved, but I can't allow myself too.
I know that I am not gay because I don't have "true love feelings" for men. So, you can see how this has been tearing me up inside. This is the first time I have ever told anyone, so I am sorry how long this has gotten.
Basically, please answer:
1) Am I gay? (I say I'm not...but maybe im wrong?)
2) Is it normal to have this sexual preference but not the sexual orientation?
3) How can I possibly get over this?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1) i wouldnt be able to answer that question for you..only you can answer it. but to me, it sounds as if your just going through a phase. experimenting during high school is very common, especially with the opposite sex.
2) yes, it is completely normal.
3) you will get over it in time, its nothing you can control yourself.
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