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my bff i only have 1 person in my life
im 14 ~today was my bday ~valentines day ~all i could think about was my bff since 4th grade~hes a guy ~ive been staring to really like him and he likes me we both no we like eachother ~my family doesnt really care about me tht much and dont say o yes they do ~bc they dont they told me ~i hate them ~they fogot it was my bday till like noon and ive only been talkin about it for days ~his family is just like mine ~were both deppressed when were apart~my bff he was the first person to tell me happy bday and even sing it ~which was left on a message on my cell at 9:00am the time i was born years ago ~i called him back ~it was so sweet ~someone cares about me atleast ~one person in my life ~i really love him and he really loves me but every1 who dates ends up hating eachother i no we wouldnt hate eachother but ~hes the only person in my life tht cares about me ~should we date ~i dont wana lose the only person who cares and loves me ~and yes im gothic depressed but can u blame me!!! ~my parents dont care his parents dont care any of my cousins dont care no1 else cares about me!!!!!!!! exept him i love him i dont ever want to loose him ~and if we ever do date he cant come over as much ~we cant go anywhere alone anymore ~what do i do ~i hate my life ~but i love him with all my heart ~i got only the present from him today ~i dont really care about the present i just wanted to be with him 2day thats all i wanted for my bday ~i cry myself to sleep every night im cryin my eyes out right now and hes the ONLY person to ever see me cry exept my mom since i was like 5 ~what should i do i dont wana loose the only person in my life we both love eachother as bff and as bf gf ~and no im not going to see anyone for all my problems ~hes the only person i can talk to ~i hav tried to kill myself befor~before i met him~hes means the world to me i mean the world to him~we only have eachother ~we might runaway together ~NOBODY WILL CARE EVRY1 NOS NO1 WILL ~im not sein a pyscyatristmy mom even told me because i was locked in my room cryin and screamin ~i will not see a physciatrist ~if we run away ~no1 will even notice ~ill go crazy if i dont get advice soon ~no1 will ever see missing signs for me no1 would even put them up
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I am really sorry about what is going on right now... but as a peer mediator at my school, I can only help you with some of these things that you are going through. Your suicidal thoughts and attempts is something that really needs to be taken to a Psychologist. I know how you feel right now, and I completely understand what you are going through because I can imagine, but I can not help you with your suicide thoughts. Please see someone. Give someone a chance. It was hard for me to see someone at first but I took the courage to, and things got better. PLEASE go see someone right away!!
And with your boyfriend and you, it's wonderful that there is someone in your life that cares about you, but your parents really should actually love you. They would have to, otherwise, they would put you up for adoption.
If you seriously think your parents are disowning you and being unfair, contact your local police department to ask for emancipation. Hence foster care, or adoption to some other family. And YES it can be local, you can still see your boyfriend, but arrangements will have to be made, but it would be better for you mainly.
Also, there are clinics (call centers, shelters) in your area you can contact anonymously for any guidance or help. They are completely confidential, your parents won't find out, and your boyfriend can tag along with you to seek a shelter. Don't just run off into nowhere. Go to someone you trust or to a shelter.
I really wish I could be there and help you out right now, but the only thing I can recommend is just going to a shelter or calling your police department. SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!! Never go there.. I regret attempting suicide, and I first thought nothing will ever get better, but getting help made me feel better, and my family and I bonded, I made new, and more friends.. and life in general just got better for me. Like I said, please go to someone!!
-->[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) <--
Go there, and see if that at all helps. It gives out facts on suicide, what you can do, and hotlines to call. They'll offer local shelters if you really need one, and they'll give you options. Mention your boyfriend, so they can make arrangements for you two. Just don't give up!
From your question, you seem like such an amazing person!! It would be awful for you to do something that you will later regret. You seem caring towards your boyfriend, and your family. So please take the first step into getting help.
I really hoped I helped! I know you mentioned that you did not want to see anyone but please trust me that it is for the best. Trust me on this and get someone as soon as you can!
****EDIT: Yes, you should try asking him out, because you two seem so close and everything. I think that would be the best!
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