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Its me again with the prob. with the bf & the dance
lets just call me Tristan
Me and my bf broke up of 21 months a month ago. Its clear we are both moving on but 3 days ago i read something that he wrote and it said "I am looking for a woman" Then yesterday he wrote "I am still looking for a woman" it just made me burst into tears on the spot. Is it totally natural that Im torn up about it? I know im moving on, going on diff. dates with diff. guys, and all that other sort of stuff... But it just struck me so hard to just know he was officially moving on. I just feel selfish && stupid.
P.S-I'd like to get back together but i dont see that happening if that helps any.
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Hey Tristan!
I probably would have burst out into tears too if I were you! But I cry a lot lol, so if that isn't very natural for you, then all it means is that you are moving on a little slower than you would like. But that's okay. You spent almost two years of your life with this guy, and it's perfectly natural to feel this way.
I know you're trying really had to move on, but I think that dating might not be the best way. I think that for right now you should stay single, but have some really great friends around all of the time, you've got a huge thing for this guy and it may take weeks or months to get over it. Just because he is ready to move on it doesnt mean you have to. So I think it's probably best for you to just be single. You're a really strong girl and you can handle being single. You can support yourself for a while. You can do so many things for yourself.
I think that I gave you some tips on moving on already, but I have a special one for you today. I think that you should try something crazy. I can't remember how old you are, but your age might limit your list, but I think that you need to do something life changing. It will be a significant source for that feeling that shos you that you are stong and amazing. I mean there are a million things you can try. Sure they may be expensive and your parents might not go for them, but I think you need to try something new. And durastically new. Like riding in a hot air balloon, or climb one of those big rockclimbing walls. Or try something thats not insanely high up, like horse back riding or swimming with dolphins. A lot of these things are things that people want to try but they just never do them. They think oh maybe next year or maybe when I get older, but the key is to do things when you are young and can actually do them. So I think that you should try and do something exciting that you've never done before. Something that you don't think you can do. It will prove that you don't need a man to be there for you 100% of the time.
I totally understand your feeling of selfishness, but its not stupid. You arent stupid. You are an amazing and talented person who has feelings and emotions, and it's okay for you to feel the way you do. But if you keep your mind off of it then you wont have to worry about thinking about these things that make you feel stupid.
I've been asked before "how do I know when I've moved on?" Well its that moment when you see the man you love(d) with another woman and you can smile and say that youre happy for him and not feel that pain afterward.
You arent going to move on tomorrow. You aren't going to move on tuesday. Or even three weeks from then. Sometimes it takes a long time. The only way to move on and be happy is to get to a balanced place in your life. And right now you arent there yet. And for some people moving on is simple, and they can join a club and meet a hot guy and go out with him and everything in life will start over. But you dated this guy for 21 months. You're in love with him, and you can't get over him tonight. But if you use this time to grow and change and make a difference in your life, then you can look back on it and think of it as a positive experience.
You're still young so don't worry about not getting a boyfriend tomorrow. You'll be fine.
And I know you want to get back together with him, but you can't. You just have to realize that that chapter of your life has ended. (I'm so sorry) and its time to find something to fill that gap.
This is going to be a tought few weeks and months. And there are a lot of things that are going to make you want to cry and sometimes even rip your heart out. But thats okay. And you know that id you ever need anything I'm here, whether its a question, or you just need someone to listen, feel free to email me, or ask another question.
I hope that you feel better, and start to move on, but remember it's okay to feel how you feel and to let your emotions show. And remember soon you'll be able to look back on this and think of it as a good thing, right now, deffinatly not, but in a few months or years probably. Good luck, and I hope you feel better, really, I do.
Love,
Angie91
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