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so...
how do i move on... :(
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sorry I didnt get back to you earlier, that sucks, moving on is really hard sometimes, but when you think about it, everything you dont want to do is hard right? So if you make it something that is a good think it will be easier. you spent like how many was it? 21? months with this guy, and its going to be tough because he was such a big influence on your life, but you have to think on.
Think of everything about him that made you mad. Think of all the things he held you back from. Think of being single as a good thing. Before this, most of your time was spent thinking of him, so we need to find something (or someone) to think about. There are lots of things that you can do to get your mind off of him, whether its calling up one of your friends for hours one day, or just going out to a movie or a sports game. Surround yourself in things you love that dont remind you of him. And I know its a lot harder than it sounds, but try not to think of him. Just try your hardest to think of other things, and if whatever you are doing makes you think of him find something else to do.
If you want to find someONE else to concentrate on, then thats a good idea too. Alot of people say not to concentrate on guys because you're on the rebound, and it isnt very fair to start dating someone so you can have that rebound and make your ex jealous. So instead find three or four guys, that you just couldnt see yourself dating, but look appealing, and are nice and sweet (or whatever you look for in a guy) that ar totally opposite of your ex. Then concentrate on them. Find a guy in every class at school. Someone to keep your mind off him, and they dont have to be someone youre in love with or anything just someone who's nice to look at. You never know, you may look at someone in a totally different way. But like I said, I wouldnt suggest going out with any of them, because your on the rebound, once you're totally over your ex and you still like the guys, then I guess I'd give to go ahead.
As far as finding a date for the formal dance, because I think you thought that was a pretty big deal right? well I think I suggested finding a bff to hang out with there, but if you do that, make sure you stress to them that its just as a friend thing as to not give them the wrong idea. And if you can't find anyone right away, ask one of your friends to ask around. It sounds desperate, but I think that if you want to go, then its not wise to blame your ex for your fun, because you're moving on and you shouldnt hold a grudge. However, that is a positive thing to think about if you are thinking about the good things about being single right?
Now for the feelings part. Its extremely (EXTREMELY) important for you not to keep things bottled inside. I don't know if you like writing poetry, or painting or sketching or singing or playing guitar or whatever you enjoy, try to find away to incorperate your feelings and let them all out. Another idea, that I have, that as far as I know works really well, is writing. See you want to gossip, you want to tell your friends how mad you are through gritted teeth, but thats a bad idea. Firstly because you're going to say things that hurt because he hurt you. So you have to wait to talk about it until after you're over him, and second because no matter what you say in confidence to someone, its either going to get twisted, like that game telephone, or it will get to him and he'll get hurt. so if you write letters to yourself, then you can get it all out, and tell yourself how to work it out without hurting others or him. Because no matter how much he hurt you, he doesnt deserve the things you might say.
Next I would recommend writting him a letter. Once you've come to terms with the situation, then you can talk to him about what he did to you, in a way that is non judgemental and non critical. It's really important to tell him how you feel without hurting him, and he'll probably want to talk to you about it, but tell him you arent ready. And when you are, call him because then you make the first move and remember to keep your calm and dont argue with him, even if he raises his voice just try and calm down, or tell him you'll call him back later when he's had the time to calm down. or maybe it wont be like that, but it's probably best to prepare for the worst.
I'm not sure if there is much else for you to do, but just remember to keep active, and try not to talk about him, or to him if you arent ready, and just try and keep going with life. You will date again, but you dont have to until your ready, and that may be a few weeks, or a month, or a year, just try to adjust to life being single again. It might be rough, but keep your friends by your side, and you'll be okay. If you need anything else, or you have any questions,ou can either ask me another question, or email me @ Princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com. Hope you get over this quickly and pain free, though I know thats quite unlikely. Good luck,
Angie91
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