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a speechless friendship?
There is someone in my life who I consider a friend, but I don't think she considers me one. (She is in her early 20's and I am a high school senior. We are both female.)She travels often, and so I do not get to see her a lot, but we met last year while doing a show together at a local theatre. We spent time together every day then, and after that I continued to keep in touch with her through email. We saw each other a little over the summer and everything seemed fine. However, now we are in another show together, and she is completely ignoring me. (I am a pretty shy person, but I usually have no trouble talking to people if I feel comfortable with them.) I said hello to her at the first few rehearsals and she of course said hi back, and then there was the normal chit-chat "how are you" type stuff. I thought that was unusual, because she is definitely not shy, and used to talk to me a lot. But now, she has become very distant (from me) and doesn't seem to want to talk to me. I am not very confident in myself, and so I simply won't confront her about this. She is always hanging out with other people, and it appears as if I am the only one she doesn't talk to. Now, if she walks past me, she doesn't even smile. As a matter of fact, she doesn't even look at me. This makes me feel as if she doesn't like me, and so I am even more hesitant to start a conversation with her. I used to consider her a really good friend, and I don't want to lose that, especially since I might not get to see her for a long time after this show is over. What should I do??
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You need to work on being more outgoing for yourself. She may think that you are a great person, but wants to hang out with people who are up to her own energy level. We can only guess, but she is not the main issue here. You are. When we start to focus on one person too much or judge ourselves by someone's reaction, then we are not living our true self. Why are you clinging to the false safety net of "shyness?" Shyness is not genetic and you are not born shy. Shyness like so many other personality traits, is a learned thing that can be unlearned, too. Something better has to take its place. Change the way you see yourself, and others will have to change their perceptions of you, too!!! Write down a version of yourself that is you still, but without the shyness. What does this new you act like, think, say, wear, feel? What would happen if you tried out a little more of this new you out a little more each day, until you are satisfied with the results. We cannot be everything to anyone and no one is everything to us either. Get to know and talk to more people and put yourself out there as the girl who has more to her then they thought and would be fun to get to know. No matter what happens with the one friend, you are more likely to make many friends with a new attitude and by shifting your focus to what you can do, not what anyone else does.
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