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I AM SO SICK OF LIVING. SOMEONE HELP ME
I have no idea what's wrong with me. I'm a teenage who has a "good" life. (meaning that there aren't any huge problems going on) I can't stand living though. I how I can't get love- because I truly believe that love is the only thing worth living for.
I how every relationship i've ever been in has ended before it even started. I'm considered "negative" but I don't see how that's a big problem- because when i'm not around my immediate family I keep all of my negativity to myself. I cry all the time and I can't stop thinking of . I wish I could die so badly. There's nothing that I want to do in this world. And I'm sick of this line of thought. I've been to tons of counselors and therapists but they don't help me. They actually make me feel worse.
I get plenty of exercise and I take vitamins and do all of the things I should be doing to stay healthy. I'm considered "obese" with a BMI of like 31. (5'3" and 173 lbs) I used to be 183. And I was down to 160 for a few days but of course I had to gain it back because of stress. I'm sick of dieting and I'm not doing it anymore. I'm just going to let myself be fat.
I SCHOOL. And we have to waste our whole lives doing it. It's pointless and I don't even NEED it. I already know everything they teach us. I don't like any of the things that I thought were my passions. Acting, singing, and dancing used to make me so happy. I still "love" them but they require so much work and I feel so inferior when I try to do them because I have a bad voice (even though I have a good voice- it sounds really bad and nasal and I can't belt) and I'm fat so my natural dancing ability is underappreciated. And my acting, well- I thought I was the best actress in the world. But no one ever reassures me of this.
I life and all I ever do (when i'm not at rehearsal or dance classes) is cry and think about how wonderful everything would be if i could just have someone who LOVES me. I know I never will again. (i was in a 7-day relationship with a guy who had Asberger's syndrome in september) I'm a huge turn-off and a dispickable person regardless of my attractiveness. I AM SO ATTRACTIVE AND PRETTY AND GORGEOUS AND I HAVE PRETTY HAIR BUT NO ONE NOTICES.
I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF. And I'm not going to. I want to end my life so much.
But I can't bring myself to do so. I this- can someone tell me what to do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Well darling. People never think about this but there IS someone who loves you. His name is Jesus Christ. Maybe the two of you haven’t been properly introduced? Well, about 2000 years ago, somewhere in the middle east there came this guy who everyone was hating on. I mean people were like, “who the heck are you?’ even though he healed their sicknesses and made them “whole” they still hated him. they went so far to crucify him. for what? Nothing really…the only thing he was teaching them was that he loved them and that he wanted them to come to a place with him and live in harmony. He was even willing to take some of the load off in trying to help us to get there. Because before he came to earth, people had to be pious in order to receive salvation. They had to do all kinds of things! Anyway, im not trying to convert you or anything. Its just that well, He loves you. I mean who would die for any of us? I know I know, you’re probably thinking “whatever!” but, believe me, He has worked wonders in my life. I mean I’ve been through depression, sicknesses, etc, you name it. Sometimes we just need people to tell us that it's gonna be okay..Just relax and breathe. Everything's gonna be okay :)
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I don't claim to have all the answers.
I have the same BMI, and it sucks, I agree.
But don't kill yourself.
Not a good idea.
I don't know if this will help or not, but I have two methods that keep me going.
One is that I have a notebook. a plain, spiral, no writing on the cover, and I write in it, a lot.
the second is, I take a red pen or marker, and write on my skin, I write all the things that are wrong, and then wash it off(make sure the pen or marker washes off first). It makes everything feel a little better, just acknowledging it.
If you ever need someone to talk to, e-mail or IM me.
Lots of Love,
Ms.Mycalina
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wow.......that is heavy. But you need to put aside your issues of your body and be comfortable in your own skin. If a guy cant see you for who you are, they dont seserve to see you at all. I feel for you on my music thing....it was my first love. You just have to have confidence. Confidence in yourself. Once people see you have that, everyone else will have confidence in you too. Hope this helps, I really do. :)
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