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Logan!
Hey, you sent me some advice, and it really helped me out alot! I understood it well, and everything!...
And now, if you don't mind, I need more advice. Logan pulled me out of my class the other day to tell me he was sorry, and that he loved me. He said he just has alot to think about right now. And I know where he's coming from. I know it very well. I mean, his whole story is his dad shot his mom, so his dad is in jail, his mom is dead, he's been living with his abusive uncle, and his Aunt, and Grandma didn't do anything about it, the cops wouldn't do anything about it, so he moved out with Darren, but his Aunt in Austin who loves him and his brother dearly invited them to live with her, but Logan refused so he could stay here with me, he's about to go see his dad for the first time in 5 years, and he's not going to see him because he hasn't seen him in awhile, he's going to get the deed for the house his abusive Uncle claims to own. So he's got to worry about his dad, both his aunts, his grandma, his brother, how he's going to pay the bills, and me.
And it's alot of stress on him. And it feels like he's been pushing me away. So, I told him I would wait until everything was good again, and I wrote him a breakup note, which almost killed me, but he refused to take it because he said that the reason we keep breaking up and getting back together is because we love each other, and miss each other. And I agree with him. All couples fight. Well atleast all the couples in my family fight. But, it's like he's still so distant from me. If I try to talk to him about how I feel, he'll tell me something to hurt my feelings, so that i'll quit talking about it. And he admits he does it.
I love him to death, and i'm sure he loves me. We just have some real serious communication problems. And he's got so much stuff going on in his life right now, that I feel like I need to be the one to shut down my own emotions, and just try to make him happy. But, it starts to make me depressed. And I know if me and Logan can get through this hard time that we could last forever. And that's what I want...But sometimes, I don't feel like that's what he wants.
To sum it up, I basicaly need to know how to make him happy again, so that we both can be happy, and quit worrying about each other.
Thank you for the help!
-Beth
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well, isn't it ironic, when you love someone so much you want to hurt them?
Anyways, when you say he's had alot of stress on him, reading your question...yeah...I agree. But it seems like you're taking alot of the blame on yourself.
I know it seems like you love him dearly and he loves you too. And he might. He really might. But getting together will add to the worries again. And any man who hurts your feelings when you try to get close to him isn't worth it. His family and bills and stuff are his problems. Problems that have nothing to do with you. Shutting off your emotions would be a bad move because you admit to yourself that you're somewhat the cause of all his stress.
He's made you very unhappy yes? And you say that you've tried to make him as happy as you could? You tried, you did and it didn't work.
Especially since you wrote that breakup note and say you have communication problems, think of how rushing back into relationships is bad.
First of all, as you said, your communication sucks. Until that's fixed, don't go further. Talk to him, sending a note is disrespectful and hurtful. YOu don't want to lower yourself to that sort of level.
If he refuses to listen that you want to work all the kinks out before you enter that relationship again, then it's not worth it.
He should trust you and your descision to work everything out. I understand you want to help him. But sometimes, the best way to help, is by not being there as a love interesting/girlfriend. No relationship is worth it without trust. It seems like you give it to him unconditionally, but he doesn't give it to you. Fix that as well, don't crumble to his every demand, don't melt into a puddle of goo around him.
If you want to break up because you think that's for the best, then stand by that answer. He can't force you to do anything. WHen he understands that, he will respect you and your wishes more.
THink about his happiness, but more importantly, your happiness. If you have to hide yourself and your emotions from him in the beginning, you can never bring them out without a nasty repercussion.
(Wow...this is hard to put in words. Everything makes so much sense in my head though.)
I think that's about it. (Read above) If you need anything answered again don't hesitate to leave it in my inbox.
I wish you the greatest of luck with Logan and your problems.
-Zeph
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