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Two guys - not sure if either is a good idea? Help!
I'm in an interesting situation here. First off, I have a friend who I will call Ashley. In my group of friends, she isn't really well liked. I'm her best friend, or at least one of them, but a lot of time she is really annoying, and the rest of my friends say I am too nice and I shouldn't deal with her, but I don't think she's always so bad. Anyway, I like this guy who I will call John. A little while ago I told Ashley I liked John over the phone. She asked if I actually liked him or just thought he was cute, and I said I actually liked him. Her only response was "Aww", but then a few minutes later she said she was asking him out online. It was like she hadn't even heard what I said. But I didn't say anything. John had never told any of his friends about liking a girl ever, never asked anyone out, not even said a girl was hot or anything. But when Ashley asked out John, he responded "are you serious?" and she said sure. He said "if you want to" and called her and asked her out. That made me so upset because of all people, after liking him for a long time, he goes for the girl who is already annoying. And Ashley just didn't even seem to care. I told her that I still like him and I'm trying to get over it, but I end up liking him more. He used to be really shy and akward, but every time I hang out with him he gets easier to talk to, and just so much cooler. She hardly even talks to him! He knows I like him too. This past friday me, John, a bunch of my other friends, but not Ashley, went to my school's varsity basketball game. During the game someone insulted John as a joke and John pretended to be all upset lol. So I asked him if he needed a hug and he kind of paused for a minute then said yes and I gave him a hug... and we walked to somewhere else after and he gave me his sweatshirt. My friends and I both think that he acts like he likes me and he hardly even knows Ashley, so we don't understand. And all Ashley does is complain about him not talking to her or calling her or hanging out with her. It's ridiculous.
That was only one half of my problem - there's another guy, I don't know him that well though. I'll call him Tim. He's a year older than me, so he isn't in my classes. But one of my friends in my grade, Greg, is friends with Tim, so I met him at a football game with Greg. I only just met him but I already felt so comfortable with him. I usually don't feel comfortable with even some of my close friends. But I really just felt so relaxed and like I had known Tim for a while, right away. He was really funny and nice and cute, and I could tell a lot about him from probably only 10 minutes of talking with him and Greg. I haven't hung out with him since, because I hardly know him still. But when I see him in the hallways he says hey, and it makes me really happy. My good friend Eric is who I go to with relationship problems most of the time, and when I asked him about Tim, he said he knew him and was kind of friends with him a year ago and he had nothing bad to say about him. I asked Eric if he could like tell anything about Tim or something, haha, and he said "I don't know if he likes you or not but he definitely doesn't think you're ugly." Haha so I hope he is right about that part. As my last relationship ended with the guy not only using me, and other girls at the same time, but also drugs, it was good to know Tim isn't really into all of that, and he just seems perfect to me. My only connection to him is through Greg though. I tried to get Greg to have us all hang out this past week but it didn't work because of sports. I hope it works soon, but I don't know.
I really like John. But I can't do anything because of Ashley. And Tim would be a lot less akward to be in a relationship with, but I hardly know him! Maybe I should just give up? What should I do here?
And sorry that was so long haha.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Feelings can be incredibly complicated to understand, and even harder to come to term with. That's what makes this situation so hard to handle. Your friend and her boyfriend have no true feelings for each other, even though they call themselves a couple, and even though you think you still like him, you may want to reconsider that. You maybe you only think you like him because he's going out with your friend, who not only betrayed you, but also hurt you. However, it seems as though he likes you, and may even consider you, rather than your friend, his girlfriend. Discuss the situation with him, and try to figure out what's going on without offending anyone. If it turns out that he has no feelings for you, try to get over him and to forgive your friend. If that doesn't work, and you find that you still have feelings for him, just try to remember that if you really love him, you should be happy for him and your friend.
It would also be a good idea to try and get to know the other boy better. Not only would that help you to get over your friend's boyfriend, but it would probably make you feel a lot happier and better about yourself. Ask him for his number, and arrange a date with him, then see how things go from there.
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If you can't get out with Tim then try going out with John I can tell from this tat he likes you just tell ashley you like tim and then since you like him she'll dump john and go out with him. it's obvious she's a bitch who justs wants whatever man you have to make you jelous. Go out with John once she's out of the way
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