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friends for real.
I met these two guys (who happen to be roommates) in one of my classes back in October and the three of us have become really good friends. But I've started to develop a little crush on one of them, and we flirt constantly. People have made remarks about how we act like we're already together (due to the constant bickering and teasing that occurs) but I also realize that people are just people, and they don't really know the situation. People tend to be wrong about those things anyway.
The three of us work at the same place, go to school together and hang out pretty much every day, outside of the previous two. But Lee, the one that I'm starting to fall for, and I have hung out a few times alone, and we have the best time. We always end up resting out heads on each other's shoulders when we watch tv/movies, and recently he's taken to tickling me as his new method of winning our arguments.
At the same time, he has a girlfriend back home (we both moved away from our respective homes for college) that he's been with for 5 years, and so I'm really not sure what to make of any of this. My head tells me that I'm just setting myself up for a big fall, but there's something about the way we are when we're together that just makes me feel like it's right. he's the most genuinely nice guy I've ever met (let me tell you, I've met some real keepers...) and the fact that he can always make me laugh (and vice versa) is a plus as well. I guess I just don't know if I should trust myself when I think that this feels right.
Any advice? Anything at all? I've gotten myself into another mess here, haven't I?
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Your head has some good logic there. You recognize that this is a bad idea. The first concern I have is that he is still somebody else's boyfriend.
The second concern I have is that you didn't mention if he had said he likes you for more than friend. It is obvious that you two are great friends and get along well, but perhaps you are misinterpreting this as romantic. It is not.
Until he ends his relationship with this girl, romance with him should be off limits. This is out of respect for him and for you too. After all, you don't want to be always viewed as the 'other woman', do you? I am guessing you would rather be known as 'the one'. Right now, he can't give you that.
He is, however, giving you a great friendship. I think it would damage that friendship if you tried to move things along in a different direction while he is still tied up with somebody else, even if she is long distance.
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It sounds to me like the two of you are getting along very well and there is nothing wrong with getting along with others. Right now you don’t have a problem. But there are many things you might think about if this develops into more. The third guy that is hanging around with the two of you probably has a crush on one of you. So I would make sure he has a hint (not the whole story but a small hint) about how you feel toward Lee. The other person I am concerned about is the girlfriend Lee has back at home. Is she the Christmas break/summer girl and you the semester girl? It is too early in the relationship to DO anything about any of this but as it develops they are real questions that need to be answered. Just keep in mind that although it is natural that relationships change as we mature and find our way through our lives. When Lee moved away from his current girlfriend his mind has wandered.....And the same thing may happen to you when you are away from Lee for any significant time. But I say see where it goes. This relationship doesn’t have to last for ever. Be up front with others involved. And have fun.
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dear u,
Talk to him tell him how you feel make sure he feels the same Plz write BACK
P.S: I hope this helps
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