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addiction
Has anyon out there had to deal with a man in your life with a sex addiction? any advice its killing me. Meaning porn, many women friends, lying videotaping downloading porn all the time.Help!! its killing our relationship
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Dear Addiction,
I think you are looking more into someone who has experianced what you too are going through. I think you two should go to a consular. Or, look at these websites ;
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Love, MD
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You are correct in defining his habits as an addiction. Most addict users of porn are trying to escape from or numb out their feelings, and have probably learned to do this with porn and masterbation from an early age to self comfort in a stressful home environment. He will need to admit the truth of his addiction and want to do something about it himself in order to break free from the cycle and have healthy relationships. You can read books about living with people who are addicts and how to set healthy boundaries in your relationships. His addiction is something that you need to separate yourself from for a while and get your own help. Many many women have suffered or are still suffering in what you are now going through and are too embarrassed to talk about the pain and feelings of rejection. Addicts are never satisfied, and you need to try to accept the fact that his problem existed before you and it is not about you. You need to find support for yourself and some safe places to talk either online, through counseling or friends. Start reading about the problem, but know you can't fix anyone. If you are not married, and have no kids together, I would really consider leaving him if he remains uninterested in your feelings. Most men with this problem have also learned to be very selfish, deceptive, and secretive from a very young age and have trouble connecting emotionally with anyone. This is not about sexual arousal and normal visual stimulation, but about a deeper problem of missed child-development and self-esteem. The porn or sex addict seeks safety in being in control and distrusts others and refuses to be vulnerable emotionally or otherwise. Porn is the ultimate control and unreality where he can take without giving and it is completely emotionless. Men under the addiction have described their hours of viewing as hypnotic and robotic in nature, and they usually confess that it becomes less pleasurable and more numbing in experience. This explains why they need to go to more hard core sites to get aroused and will eventually lose the ability to be stimulated by natural sexuality. Most porn addicts have had extremetly critical mothers, and will seek out partners that are compassionate and vulnerable themselves. Like any other addiction, the addict will turn to his choice escape repeatedly and remain unsatisfied with fantasy, yet incapable of being able to fully enjoy reality. Some books and websites may be helpful (some are religious, christian-based):[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Book...Every Man's Battle, available at this website: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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mabey try doing outdoor activities and boardgames try to get his mind off of sex.
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