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My Heart Is Bleeding But It Feels Good, WHY?????
I am in love..I think. In my ROTC @ my college, there is this woman (lets call her Rita). We see eachother during ROTC classes, but not much otherwise because of our schedules. I have a complicated work/school schedule, and she has the same schedule problems plus she has a one year old son. We have fun when we do get to hang out, we talk on the phone for no less than an hour almost everynight. Where's the problem you ask? Its what I just told you. We are both in a position where we aren't looking for a relationship for various reasons. For me, I don't have the time or money to have a quality relationship. For her, she just wants to make good friends because she lost so many from high school when she got pregnant with her son (in addition to not having the time, etc...). I know that I cannot afford a relationship right now, and I also respect and understand Rita's situation, but I'm finding that the more I get to know her the more I fall for her. I love her laugh, the way she looks at me gives me such a good feeling... I don't even know how to describe it. We have talked about how I feel about her, vaguely, but I didn't tell her to whole truth. I am falling for her fast, and I want to be more than her friend, but not at the cost of our friendship. The worst part about this is I dont truely know how she feels about me. A fellow cadet told me he over heard Rita and another female cadet speaking of a guy whom Rita was developing "feelings" for, and since he had already figured out that I liked Rita he felt I should know that she might be returning my feelings. However, when I asked Rita to be my date to our ROTC Military Ball, she imformed me that she was "kinda already going with someone who wasn't in the ROTC". The apologetic way she said it made me think two things; either I wasn't the guy she is having feelings for, or she felt bad because she wasn't sure if I was going to ask her to the ball (or if I was even allowed to ask her as a fellow cadet) and asked a friend to be her guest/date. I'm not jealous, I'm a little hurt. My question, now that you (my advisors) have almost all the background info you need to know;
What can I do to show her how I truely feel without ruining our friendship while also telling her that I'm willing to wait until she is ready to have a relationship? And in addition to that, What can I do to find out how she feels about me without making her think I'm completly ignoring what she said about 'not looking for anything right now'(she can feel about me that same way I feel for her but NOT tell me because she doesnt want to be in a relationship right now, you know what I mean?)?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Unfortunatly relationships come at good times as well as bad times in our life. my gut feeling is she likes you. if she tells you all the time how she isnt ready for a relationship right now then it seems to me she is feeling like thats where you are headed. She can tell you like her. give it time. become her friend. The best love relationships start as friendships. dont pressure her. If you waited to the last min to ask her to the ball it may be she didnt think you would...hang tough. give it time. but be there for her. show her the type of guy you are. and ask her earlier next time.
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