|
I do love him
17f. So of course theres this guy, and im a little confused at what to about him. Me and this guy have been talking for almost eight months, and i really do care about him a lot. More than i have cared about anyone else in the past...and truth be told that scares me a little bit. But what scares me more is loosing him and im afraid that, thats where we're headed and its killing me. The funny but sad thing about this is that i care about him more than anything, and the reason that things aren't going so well is sometimes he doesn't think that i care about him at all. I don't understand why he would even say that when EVERYBODY can seem to see how i feel about him and i just don't understand why he doesn't. I think i wouldn't be as mad if it was just this once but he says this often and i'm like if i didn't care about him it wouldn't have made it to eight months with all the things i have to deal with when it comes to him. i know he's been hurt really badly in the past but he makes it seem like im going to do the exact same thing that they did to him and that just isn't true. Its like he's expecting me to fail or expecting me to break his heart and that breaks mine. And now we're in this stupid argument and i wrote him this heartfilled note telling him how i felt and im dying here waiting for his respone. I don't want to loose him but i don't know what to do to keep him. I really do love him...i don't know what i'd do without him but how do i make him see that when he just doesn't believe me.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You are perfectly right that he expects you to do what others have done. We all go on prior experience to a degree, but some people like your guy, get stuck in a self-fulfilling prophecy. He is actually causing trouble in your relationship with his irrational fears. You truthfully can never make him feel better and it is not your job at this point. You have most likely been terrific and reashurring to the point of it being ridiculous. He has an internal insecurity that has nothing to do with you. You will have to do one of two things. Either keep letting him weigh you down with guilt that is not yours, or choose to see that he has a personal problem and it is not anything you can solve. If you keep doing the first thing, you will both go through an emotional rollercoaster and he will keep manipulating the relationship with his fears until it drives you away...at which point he will tell himself that he was right all along about you and not see that it was he who drove you into someone else's arms. The second choice is about reality at least for you, no matter what he insists. Tell him that you are done trying to convince him and that at this point he is just calling you a liar and being annoying. He really is not even seeing you, but the image of you he has created...which is a distorted image. Don't let him draw you into this game. If he cannot let this go, he really is not with you anyway, but more in love with his false ideas and determined to hold close to those ideas than the reality that has you in it. Don't put up with it whether you leave or stay.
]
More Questions: |