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any teenage mums out there....
this is mainly to teenage mums.
im 17 years old and me and my boyfriend both really want a baby. i am attending a 2 year college course and have decided if we do conseve i will home study. not a problem.
me and my boyfriend are very happy and it looks like we will b 2gether 4 a very long time.
it all started when we had the little scare that i could be pregnant. we thought about it and spoke about it and we both decided we want one. weve figured out everything we will do, wont do and which needs to be done. so we thought it though alot.
so i ask those teen mums what it is like to have a child and how old you was when you had you first. even though i do understand it will be hard but im willing to put in all the effort needed.
any advise would be great.
thanks
xXxXxXx
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From Morgan:
Although I am not a teenage mother, I know many teen moms who would advise you strongly to rethink your desire to have a child. Most teen mothers, although they love their children, would give anything to have their youth back and have that child again later when they had had the chance to experience life on their own, grow emotionally, get an education, have a stable job, and more life experience in general. Most teen mothers work hard to keep their own daughters from ending up in the same situation. Here is a quote I found on a teen pregnancy website:
"I absolutely hate hearing everyone talk about that great party on the weekend or how they are going out of town over spring break. It seems that I am missing out on my childhood years. Where my daughter grows up and asks me what I did when I was a teen, all I will be able to say is 'I changed your diapers and prepared you formula.' I really wish I could go back and do things differently. I am sick of the constant worrying about how we are ever going to live once we move out of my mother's house.
- 16 year-old mother
In my opinion, why make your life so much harder now when you can have a child later and have it be a much more positive experience for you and your baby? Also keep in mind the social stigma; yes it might be unfair, but society generally looks down upon teen mothers and life is much, much more difficult for teen mothers.
Keep in mind, the decision to have a child is one of the few decisions you can't take back. You are making (at least) an 18 year commitment when you haven't even been around on this planet for 18 years yet! In addition, you have barely had time to enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend as a couple, rather than as a couple with children; this can often destroy relationships. Dealing with a child and how it is raised adds a whole new dimension to a relationship that can only be handled properly when the relationship to begin with is rock solid -- this takes many years to gain.
Then there's the money. Personally I have a hard enough time paying my rent and bills, managing credit card debt, and still having a few dollars left over after all that -- I can't imagine how difficult it must be when adding to that all the expenses of a small child. Did you know that only <B>1.5%</B> of teen mothers earn their college degree? Don't risk your future child's financial security. Why not wait until you and your boyfriend have secure careers so that you will be able to support the baby without any trouble, provide health insurance, start a college fund, go on vacations, and let your child participate in activities they are interested in? This will not likely be possible if you have the child now.
If you and your boyfriend will truly stay together for a long time, then there is no harm in waiting. In fact, the longer you wait, the happier your future child will be -- you will have gained steady careers, a strong financial support system, possibly your own home, health insurance, and the life experience that is necessary to decide what is best way to raise a child. That is the best thing you can give your child. It's important to make sure you are the best person you can be before you decide to bring another person into this world. That means completing your education, obtaining life experience, and growing emotionally.
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Hey,
I'm not a teen mom, and I know that you aimed this question at teen moms, but I still think I can help. having a baby, can be a great thing, but it is also something that can change your life. I think my first peice of advice is that you and your boyfriend should try babysitting a young, young baby for a few days straight. try the midnight feedings, and the no sleep, with your at home schooling. and realize that with about a total of 3 hours of sleep might not be enough to manage school. Also, you should try something small, like try and keep a plant alive for two weeks, then get a puppy. When the puppy has an accident on the floor and chews up your school book, then you can decide whether you really do need a baby. Also you are 17, waiting until you are done college probably wont be that long, and the longer you wait for something that you really enjoy, the more special it is. Plus, I think you should get married first, but thats only my opinion, listen to what the teen morthers say when they answer this question. But in my opinion, I'd wait a few years. At least until your'e done school. Having a baby should be special, and it will be specail whether you do it now or in three years, but it shouldnt be something that you regret. good luck! hope this helps
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