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sticky situation
i chose to ask you this question, becuase from seeing answers youve given- it seems like you really might be able to help me with my problem. well, i was going out with this guy for almost a year and a half. granted, im only 16, so that was a long time for me. his family has known myne since before we were born, and everythnig always jsut seemed right in place. i always thought that he was the one that i would spend the rest of my life with, and for a while there, he told me the same thing. however, i got pregnant five months ago, and althoguh our families are fully aware and trying their best to help us out, things have gotten pretty shaky becuase of this baby. at first, my boyfriend was all about helping me out, and always saying 'its okay, everythnig will turn out okay', he was always there to motivate me. but we had been arguing a lot lately, and for one, i had accused him of cheating several times- i dont have proof that he cheated, but it was one of those womanly instinct things, ya know? i just had a huge feeling tht he was drifting away from me. and after every time we'd argue, we'd make up and be fine for a few days, then itd start all over again. i blamed the stress on the fact that we were pregnant and had a lot to worry about. that we were jsut frustrated. well, one night, completely out of the blue- about a week ago, maybe- he called me up and basically told me that i didnt make him happy anymore,and that there was no way he could be with me and marry me. i had no choice but to be mad at him- i dont want things to be like that for my baby. we got into a HUGE fight, and he brought back things of my past. (id been with a 31 year old man before, and i told him about it- ever since then he holds it over my head all the time ) he sed ever since i told him about that i havent made him happy. i couldnt believe that he was jsut now saying this, after i told him that like, almost a year ago. i knew it upset him, but there was nothing i could do about it- it all happened before i met him. i had also been with a few more guys than i should have. he was a virgin when we met, and i know that for a fact. he sed that he cant stand being with someone who cant say that they were a virgin when they met. i just started crying and began to think that this was his lame excuse for not wanting to be with me anymore, and that he was trying to make it as bogus as possible. and it was working. then, jsut a few minutes before we hung up, he told me he had wished hed slept with every girl he had the chance to, jsut so i would know how it feels. i couldnt believe he was doing this to me,after so long, and after making a baby with me. so, needless to say, we broke up. well, just the night before last, i was trying to get a hold of him on the phone ( we still talk) and he wouldnt answer- so i tried a few more times before i went to bed, and called it a night. when i called him the next morning before school- i asked why he wasnt ansering his phone- he sed he got it taken away lastnight, and he was grounded. hes grounded alot of the time, so i figured id ask what it was this time. he bluntly told me it was becuase he told his parents he was at his friend's house, and it turns out he was at the movies with a girl from his old school. she used to come over all the time after school when no one was home, and theyd make out- i mean, it was almost an everyday thing. i could not believe he would do that to me. i asked him if anything happened, and he promised me no, but how am i to believe that? when he sed hed wished he had been with every girl that wuld give him the chancem and because they already have a past together. he sed i was making a big deal out of it. tha we werent together, so its not like he cheated on me, and that he was just going out with a friend. but he never went out with other girl when we were together. also, now him and his parents thnk i shuld put the baby up for adoption. their first grandchild!!!!!!!!!!! he thinks it wuld be a good idea, too!- his first child!!!!!!- i justcant believe all this is happeneing to me. it has brought me so much hurt and depression, and i jsut cant seem to get away from it, i know theres more to come. my questions are, do YOU think it wuld be best to opt for adoption?- how can i get over him being with other girls?- it hurts soooo bad. how am i gunna do this without my boyfriend? do u think i shuld try and get him back?- i want him back soooooooooo bad. i want everything to be the way it was. how could i get him back? and if theres anything else you wanna tell me go right ahead. i need all the advice i can get.
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Hey girl... God, I can soooo relate to you. I too, was pregnant as a teenager. (I hope you don't mind me tellin' you this story) I was 17 and had told my boyfriend of 3 years (same age as me) that I was pregnant.. He said don't worry baby everything is going to be ok, I love you and were going to get married when we turn 18. 2 weeks later he pulled up at my house and told me it was over. I never seen him again. Everyone around me convinced me to have a abortion, my mom threated that if I didn't..she'd take away my car, kick me out and get me fired from my job. I felt like I didn't have a choice so I went through with it, against my better judgement. That one day changed my life forever. I lost my baby to a abortion that I did NOT want. I still cry at night almost 8 years later. So as far as his parents telling you to put your baby up for adoption.. if you don't want to..then you tell them to kiss you where the sun don't shine. There just looking out for there son, makin sure he dont have to take on any responsibilites, they don't care how you feel in all this. If you want him back, all you can do is just let him know how sorry you are that you had been with other ppl BEFORE you & him even met, but that you could only say you were sorry, you cant take back your actions. Also let him know that: "Regardless of what I did or didn't do before we even met doesn't change the situation now. I am having your baby and you need to step up and be a man" If he does decide he wants nothing to do with you or that baby, you take him to court for child support. His parents will have to pay on his behalf till he turns 18. Your parents and you shouldnt have all the finacial problems of this baby just on yall... He helped create this child and he needs to help take care of it. I know it hurts so bad when you need him the most right now and he is acting this way. Honestly, I think he's just scared and thought up that excuse as a way to back out. If those things REALLY did bother him so much, he wouldv'e told you a long time ago, not keep having sex with you then wait till your knocked up for it to suddenly start bothering him. So let him know that you know that he's scared and that he was just looking a way to back out...Let him know that your scared to...Scared of the baby we created never seeing his father because he acted like a coward. Don't let him run all over you or make you feel bad for things that now, you have no control over. You hold your head up high and listen to what I say..which is that EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. I give you tremendous respect for having the courage to stick through this pregnancy and everything. I know you might be scared that he might not be in your life but if he isn't I promise you, it won't hurt forever, even though it may seem that way now.
P.S. Sorry if it took me to long to get to this question, my computer had messed up over the weekend, I would never turn down a inbox question.
By the way, What are you going to name your baby?
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