|
18/f
I've only been dating my guy for a few weeks but we've had a strong connection ever since we met. Whether it is conversationally, emotionally, or physically, we've just always been in the same place.
Well, i've recently noticed a change in our relationship (I know it's only been a few weeks but like I said, it seems like we're in a pretty serious relationship). Before we officially started dating, and even for a while after, we'd have amazing conversations on various things. Everything from parents to politics to the school system to sex. I told him how I quit cheerleading, about my relationship with my family (we're really close), friends, and just so many things that I usually don't tell people right away. He did the same and we'd talk about things for hours.
Now it seems like he's so...distant. Like, I can't tell him anything anymore. All he talks about is sex and his car. And since I feel that I can't tell him or talk to him right now, I don't so I get the feeling that he thinks I'm becoming distant.
But how can I help it? Last night I was on the phone with him and I guess I sounded upset so he asked me what was the matter and I told him that my parents were in a big fight and I just really hate when they're mad at each other. All he said to me was, "Oh, yeah, I don't think I've ever heard my parents argue." Then he said he had to get something to eat and would talk to me later.
Usually, he would have talked to me about it or at least have told me that it would pass over and not to worry too much. Why would he tell me that he's never heard his parents argue? So, I don't know, can you see why I'm kind of upset?
I don't know whether I should talk to him or what because if I do bring up the subject, I doubt that he'll actually talk to me about it. All he's cared about lately is sex and his car so I don't even know right now. Any help?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Don't worry, I know exactly how you feel. You go through that stage in a relationship where everything feels absoloutely perfect and you can't imagine anything better...and then it all goes downhill and suddenly, you're left wondering "What happened??"
The truth is there are a huge nunmber of possibilities as to what has happened. Maybe he feels he's run out of topics to talk about. Maybe there's something playing on his mind right now that he can't talk about. Maybe nothing has really changed deliberately but he's comfortable and therefore feels the need to talk about things less. Maybe (sorry for saying this) the relationship has run its course as far as he is concerned.
The point I'm making is that although you say you feel you can't talk to him right now, you won't know what is going on until you do. I suspect you have considered already that he may have lost interest in the relationship and you don't want to be confronted with this as the truth. I can understand your feelings about this but at the same time, is it really better to go on the way you are and not knowing what is happening?
It's a hard step to have to take but relationships NEED communication to survive and unless you can get him to talk about what is going on with him, the relationship is going nowhere, especially if his behaviour is making you distance yourself from him in return.
Have a chat with him. Regardless of what he says, it's better than not knowing. You need to know where you stand. Take a deep breath and go for it. At this stage, it really is the best thing to do.
I hope it all works out for you.
]
More Questions: |