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Driving is a nightmare
I am 16 years old and got my driver's permit a few months ago. I really do try to be a good driver- I don't use my cell phone, I focus on the road, heck, I don't even turn on the radio! But it's hopeless- no matter how hard I try, I am a TERRIBLE driver, a threat to myself and others on the road. You see, I'm a pretty good student, I mostly get A's- but I'm a very slow thinker. I'm always the last one to hand in my test; I think about all my decisions carefully and thoroughly. The main problem is that I can't think at 55 mph (heck, even 30 mph!) and it's ESPECIALLY hard to focus with my dad, whom you'll read about below.
My dad takes me to practice every week. However, while I am admittedly a bad driver to begin with, his lessons really aren't helpful at all. I know parents are supposed to give constructive criticism while driving- that's expected. However, he critiques EVERY SINGLE MOVE I MAKE-and that's no exaggeration at all, I swear- every time I press the gas pedal, tap the brake, or move the steering wheel, he criticizes me. Not nicely, either. This makes me extremely tense throughout the whole nightmare of a lesson, and it's very difficult for me to focus on his yelling and the road at the same time.
A typical excerpt from our lessons:
(Red light at an intersection, in the right-turn lane)
Dad (rushed, aggrevated tone): You can make a right on red, go!
Me: (turns, doesn't notice other car going straight)
Dad: STOP!!
Me: (slams on brake)
Dad: *(&#@^%!
Now, I freely admit that it was my fault for not seeing the other car, but as you can see it was rather difficult to focus and our lessons really aren't very productive at all. I HATE driving and sometimes after our lessons I just go to my room and cry. Driving is terrifying, and at this rate I'll never get my license. Heck, I don't even WANT a license at the moment- I'm sure I'll die in a crash.
The problem is, my dad is the only available teacher- I don't know anyone else nearby who has their license and is over 21 who could help me drive. However, my dad is the big, scary, "don't-mess-with-me" type, and if I told him to calm down and not criticize me as much, this would surely be seen as 'talking back' and he would have a FIT.
I know the old saying- "practice makes perfect". This makes sense when playing an instrument, learning to tie your shoes, or just about anything else. However, with driving, you basically risk your life every time you practice! That's a huge difference!
I wish I could just give up on driving and rely on public transportation the rest of my life, but when I grow up I want to be independent and go where I want, when I want. Any tips on being a better driver and not letting my dad's yelling break my focus? Thanks!
PS: Sorry for such a long letter, I just wanted to explain the situation as thoroughly as possible for the best advice. Thanks again.
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Hmm..The language in this question seems pretty advanced for a 16 year old.
In any event it comes down to this: If you can't learn to drive well you could kill yourself or someone else, and if you can learn to drive under intense pressure (your dad screaming at you) the chance of you committing manslaughter is a little less likely. My dad did the exact same thing to me, and I haven't ever had an accident in the 15 years that I've been driving.
If you are not sure about driving right now then stop. Give it a few years if you can. I know a lot of people who waited and started driving when they were a bit older. Your independence and freedom to drive to the mall whenever you want isn't worth your or someone else's life.
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Honestly, you recently got your permit, it's expected for you not to be the best driver. And it's ok not to be!
Don't think about how bad you are, just think about how much better you can be if you keep doing it, and sooner or later you won't need your dad there anymore!
At times it will be tough no matter what you do because you're there and he's there, no gettin out of it. But just remember he's only trying to help you and everyone gets a little frustrated at times.
Good luck!
=] Evy
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Parents can be a pain, because they only want whats best for you, and because driving is such a huge risk, they tend to get tense about it - if you go online or maybe through your school you might be able to find a driver's ed class that will help you better. Its like alot of things - parents are just hard to listen to - your better off hearing the same things from someone else. You dont sound like a bad driver - just an inexpierenced one - which is fine - everyone has to start somewhere! you will get bettter i promise !
good luck!
hope i helped!!
Jenna
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