|
how do I stop overreacting?
20/f. I tend to get caught up in the moment and act on my emotions alone. When I'm angry or upset it always shows and affects how I treat other people, especially those closest to me. I'll explode over the littlest thing. I feel terrible after I've calmed down and had a chance to think, not only about what upset me in the first place, but about how I handled myself as well. My fiance has identified this as something I need to work on and I completely agree. He's trying to help me out, but there seems to be no progress being made. How can I better control my emotions and give myself time to think things through before I overreact? Any things my fiance can do to help me out? I realize that I can't change overnight. Any advice would be wonderful.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It is so good that you have the maturity to see the areas in yourself that can change for the better. You are still young and starting to realize that you can rewrite yourself. We become imprinted with certain coping mechanisms in childhood that are not always the best to carry into a healthy adulthood. You have had to push emotions down deep and were not allowed to fully express yourself without criticism. When so much is left in the pressure cooker of your soul, it leaks out at moments that seem irrational. This happens, because the moments of overreaction are tied to the moments of underreaction. You have not had the safety of free expression, so when you want to release a little emotion you can't hold back the floodgates. Don't beat yourself up about it afterwards, but continue to think about what you would have liked to respond with in those situations that would serve you better. Also, unless you find out how to express the angst of your childhood, you will not get past the pressure cooker of past emotions to deal with life now. Start writing down everything you can think of and if it helps, talk about it with your boyfriend. Practice small steps in being assertive.
]
More Questions: |