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How can i get him to open up?
Okay so i have this boyfriend and we've been dating for about a month and a few days .. and we both really like eachother obviously. but there is a problem. its hard for us to talk to eachother! its not that we don't want to. and we both have tons in common. but it gets to be akward sometimes when we're hanging out with our friends. we hardly speak to eachother. and we use the fact that "we're just talking to our friends" as an excuse for not talking to eachother.
But he is so funny and probably the sweetest guy i've ever met. And we talk online a lot. And when we sit and watch a movie we cuddle and all of that stuff and we both love it and everything. It's really the communication that is the issue. But he's not such a big talker to begin with, even with his friends, which makes it even harder. He's pretty laid back. And that's cool because I am too. But i have my crazy moments and i know he does too because i've been told. my friend said that she was hanging out with him and some other people before i came over and he was off the wall. but when i came he hardly talked at all. well at least not to me. and he acted totally normal. I want him to be comfortable acting silly and crazy around me. Or at least be able to talk about random stuff with me. If my friends ask him why he's hardly talking to me he uses the excuse "im tired". But i know that can't always be true.
I think the main problem is we're bad at starting conversations. And when we do.. they don't last very long..
My friends think i should break up with him if he can't get his act together. But i know that he is trying because of the little things that he does.
And i really don't want to break it off. At all.
Idk.. maybe it's my fault too? Maybe I should start trying to talk more. But i don't know what to say or do.. and if were hanging out i want him to know that he can put his arm around me and hug me at random moments and stuff.. not just when were watching a movie. and i know that he wants to do stuff like this. but how do i let him know that it's okay?
I need him to know that he can be totally open around me. But I don't know how.
Please help.
Thanks!!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
so me and my bf were the same way, he wanted me to do all the talking. Talk about common interests. Ask him questions to get to know him better. While you are hanging with your friends just give him a big hug and hold his hand, that will let him know that you are ok with it. Most guys don't want to make a good relation-ship go down the tubes just for something silly, alot of guys know that MOST girls want to take it slowly, and guys are the same way, it just takes a while for them to open up, i mean it took us a LONG time before we even started to hold hands/hug, and 4 months later we still haven't even kissed (and never will cuz he broke up w/ me last night) but anyway i hope that this helped
~Ash
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You have only been going out a short while and still getting to know each other. Why are you putting so much pressure on both of you to feel totally at ease and act the same way you would if you were not going out? You will both eventually be more at ease with one another and let loose, but don't rush it. Wanting to be cool and collected is normal at this point. Enjoy the time you spend together, and apart. Your friends need to mind their own business if you are happy with him.
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