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falling for my best friend, but she doesnt feel the same
im a 26 yo mal, ive been friends with this lady for a year now, and over time we have become best friends, but over time my feelings have become deeper, and im falling for her in a big way, the problem is she doesnt feel the same about me, and probably never will, the thing is i really like her, more than anyone else ive ever met, i care about her a lot, and even though im happy for her when she gets a new b/f it also hurts so much, i never want to lose her, and im always the best friend i can be, but i cant handle this pain, what can i do???
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ok so you know if she truly doesnt want a relationship with you and your truy sure she doesnt have the same feelings then you need to settle for friendship. you already know that so what are you asking i cant wave a wand and make her love you.lol. you say that dating would destroy the relation ship but if she doesnt want to date you then howw can it. if youve already talked to her about it and shes said no then let it go because if you keep pushing the subject you may lose her the fact is your just going to have to settle it. if its not her will then its not her will and your not going to get anymore then friends then youll just have to move on.
if you havent told her then tell her and get it straightened out with her
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I think that you need to tell her how you feel even though u think she doesnt feel the same way about you, you will never know unless you ask. Plus since you have known each other for a while she probably understands that you like her because most realationships start and friends
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Oddly enough, I think I have a couple of friends who are in exactly the same situation as you. He seems to be in love with her and has been for some time, but because they have been best friends literally for 14 years, she sees him as a brother and isn't attracted to him in that way.
I wish I could tell you a way to make her like you, but the truth is that there's nothing I can suggest that would help because as much as you want to, you can never find a way to make someone love you.
What you need to do is to make the decision whether you can remain her best friend, knowing that you feel this way and can never do anything about it, or if you would rather lose her as a friend but not have to deal with the pain of seeing her when you can't be with her. It's a difficult decision and not one that anybody can make for you but personally, I always believed that if you truly care about someone, in whichever sense, you would rather see them happy. I get that you feel that way from your question and for that reason, I would recommend that you try to stay friends with her. She has clearly stayed your friend for a reason and to lose each other over this would be awful. For both of you.
I hate to say this, but the only thing you can do is move on. There's little point in spending your life pining over unreciprocated feelings. Sooner or later, she will get on with her life and you have to do the same. Who knows? Maybe in the future, you will get together but for now, you need to try to move on with your life and remain the best friend to her that you can be.
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Aww I was in the same situation. I was this one guys best friend and he was too blind by all the girls that only liked him for his band. He went out with them, they broke his heart , etc.
But really, ask yourself this:
Do you really wanna ruin a friendship that you and this lady has that everyone looks for but can't find?
Do you really wanna throw away a friendship that can last a lifetime for a relationship that'll last a year?
If my best guy friend said he wanted to go out with me, like or love me I would freak, get angry at myself for not notcing, then wanted to set some space (although it will never happen since he's gay).
Just sort out your feelings for her. I mena you could love her in a brotherly way. But really, I suggest you savor this friendship instead of searching for ways to go out with her. Got to bars or clubs with your GUY only friends and meet new people. It's hopeless and pointless to set your heart for one person that doesn't even like you back in the same way =/
**emm[y]
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Hey-
I know EXACTLY how you feel- I was in this situation not more than 6 months ago..
If you haven't told her how you feel yet- you NEED to.. I know she might not like you back and that your relationship might not grow to anything more.. but you still gotta take the chance..
I know that if you don't tell her how you feel- you'll only drive yourself crazy and into depression.. which is not where you wanna go...
If she doesn't feel the same way about you- then you just have to try to move on (and I know how tough that is.. since I myself couldn't do it... I ended up liking my best girlfriend 3 times.. and its not pretty what happened)
Try to find something else to focus your thoughts on.. like a favorite TV show or just try to find another girl who likes you the way you like them (no.. not to use the girl to get your friend off your mind..)
I hope I helped!
--Jack
Feel free to post ANYTHING in my inbox..
I'll be there to help!
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