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so sad any more...
I just got into a really big fight with my mom today. We get into a lot of fights, but this one had to be the worse! I'm so mean to my mom. I say terrible things to her like she's a terrible mother, and she isn't! She does so much for me. She took me out for lunch today, she buys me things, and I hardly take the time to thank her. I also am really jealous of my brother. He's so good, and I always think that she treats him better than me, and he just left for college and its hard on all of us especially my mom. She has been buying him things, and when I wanted something today, she wouldn't get it for me, and I went off on her! I even told her that I hated her. I say so may cruel things to my mom, that I don't even realise how much I hurt her! I made her cry in the car today. I have NEVER seen my mom cry. She was crying because I made her. I hurt her real bad. I am such a terrible daughter for doing this. She also told me that she can never enjoy me. I don't blame her. She said she always enjoyed my brother but not me. It hurt me, but I deserved it. I can never tell her how I really feel, what really goes on in my head. I think about suicide all the time. I think how much better my mom would be if I was gone. I don't bring her any happiness, just saddness. We fight more than get along now a days, and if she doesn't enjoy me, whats the use for living? I never want to commit suicide, but I'm really scarying myself because I think I actually want to for real this time! I'm so emotional and depressed, and I take things WAY too seriously. I have no idea how this has happened to me. I'm the only one in my family thats like this. I think it is mostly because my friends all turned against me in 6th and 7th grade. I'm in High school now and it still haunts me! It's mainly because I still go to same school as them, and I want to leave so bad, but my mom wont let me. I don't want to go see a physiatrist, that will make me feel even worse. I just want all this pain and emotional to leave and the only one that can do it is myself, but I don't think I can. I feel as though my sanity level has dropped completely. I need some help and ideas how I can do this, and how I can tell my mom how I feel. Thanks so much!
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
First of all know that what you are feeling isn't good but it is pretty normal. Teens have lots of changes going on in their bodies all at once. It causes your hormones to go wild, and makes you think you are going nuts. Girls go through more changes than boys so that is why it seems he is calmer than you are.
Suicide is never an answer. Trust me your mom would not be better off. Quite the opposite. It would be something she would never ever get over.
Remember to that while you said things you didn't mean, she did too.
Now, talking to your mom doesn't have to be that hard. She probably so much wants to get along with you. Don't shut her out. Sit down alone with her and a good opening line might be this...Mom did you ever say things you didn't mean to your mom and hurt her feelings? I'll bet she did.
Then just open up and let her know how you are feeling. Tell her you are jealous of your brother and feel he is treated better if that's what you feel. Just talk and you will both feel so much better.
As for school, you can make new friends. They don't even have to go to your school. Be friendly no matter what other say and do to you and someone will befriend you. Those who don't are not people you want around you anyway.
Should you need to see a doctor there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes teens need help dealing with their emotions if they get to overwhelming. You probably don't even need a psychiatrist, your regular doctor would do fine for starters.
I really hope you talk to your mom and I hope you will feel better when you do. Please let me know how it turns out. I'd like to know you are doing OK. :)
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