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long distance troubles - group home thinger
hey, im not on my computer right now so i dont wanna mess with the whole emailing thing so i will just write you on here. i can write him letters and stuff and i tell him all the time how much i care about him so he knows i do and that i love him soo much. he says when he gets out of there that there will be no more trouble. (he is in there for probation violation) but i heard from 2 of his friends that some kid is saying that the 3 of them jumped the kid and that now he is gonna be in more trouble and im soo scared that he is gonna be gone again and that while hes out there some chick in canton is gonna get him to cheat on me and it hurts so bad to think about but i cant stop. i dont know what to do about anything. i wanna trust him soo bad but im scared that if i trust him and he does hurt me then its gonna hurt 50 kabillion times worse. and im also scared that if i dont trust him hes gonna get mad that i dont and possibly leave me. i mean hes never shown any anger torwards me and the 18th will be our 16 months but hes been gone for 3 of them.. and it really hurts. his mom likes me too and i just talked to her earlier and she said shes gonna find out for me this tuesday. im excited but im trying not to get my hopes up. and i dont know what im gonna do if i cant see him. i think ill go crazy! i write him all the time but i keep losing the letters i write. i sent him 4 letters at once this time. and in one of them i went off on him.. i felt really bad for sending it but he really needed to know how bad it hurt me that he broke his probation thinger knowing full well what would happen and that he would be away and then when i heard he cheated all he did was deny it... he didnt comfort me at all and be like "babygirl i would never do that to you. i love you too much." or anything like that. he was just like "nah its not true" grrr guys annoy me. im kinda scared to hang out with my friends because apparently most my guy friends like me because they keep trying to get me to leave him or to cheat and they dont realize im not gonna do that to him. it really annoys me at times. but if i hang out with alora and brittany im fine and if i hang out with kara im fine.. but anyone else its like eh.. go away. im sorry that this is really long and a lot to read but i have a lot to get out of my system and i dont really talk to many people about this because im scared they will tell people. ive only got 2 people i trust with this and thats alora and kara.. well, now you as well. thank you sooooo much for helping me. you give really good advice and id love to keep talking to you about it if your up for it. well, write me back k? buh bye.
*~Carrie~*
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Is he in an all boys facility? If he is, then he will not be able to have any contact with girls. I didn't have to worry about that with my boyfriend because there weren't any girls around him where he was. How do his friends know that he jumped someone? If they can find stuff like this out, why can't you? It's good that his mom likes you. If you can, just keep talking to her and let her know how much you care about him. As for you losing his letters, get a spiral notebook with preferated edges so you can keep track of his letters, and when you want to send them, just rip them out. Does his mom get to see him or talk to him yet? My boyfriend didn't get visitation rights until he had been there for over two weeks. They had to earn them. Just so you know, they more than likely read all of the letters you send him before he gets them, so try not to say too many things in them you wouldn't want others to read. Also, if you do get to visit him, they search you with metal detectors and pat you down before you go in the room. Do you know what level facility he is in? I think a level 4 is the lowest, and it goes up to 10 or 12, i think. That will also let you know if you'll be able to talk to him. What was he on probation for? And how did he violate it? When you hang out with your friends, only hang out with your girl friends, because I had the same problem. I hung out with my boyfriend's best friend and he ended up making a move on me (I thought that I could trust him since he was best friends with my boyfriend all of his life). Needless to say, they aren't friends anymore. Why don't you trust him? Has he given you any reasons not to? Also, how old are the two of you? His age will give me a little insight as to what will/ can happen if he messes up in their again. I hope I can help you out. Feel free to write me anytime to ask questions or just to talk etc. Keep you head up! <3 Dana
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