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Confused about a guy
Well to start off this rather long question, I met a guy named Alex going into highschool. He was in two of my classes, but I didn't really get to know him until we were in a group project together. After that we both started liking eachother but we just left that for two months. (I was grounded for one of the months anyways so it wasn't a big deal.)
Well after the two months he finnally ended up asking me out and we went to a movie. We still saw eachother at school and I guess we were considered to be dating. Eventually I trusted him enough to tell him about my problems with self injury. So then I actually stopped for him and I also stopped doing drugs and drinking.
After that I decided I wanted to test him so I convinced him I was going to commit suicide. I did actually end up taking 15 extra strength acetemitophen, which wasn't enough to get me into a hospital or coffin, but I still felt sick the next day. So that night he got My bestfriend and boyfriend to call me and see if I was okay. So I called him and started crying on the phone, but I told him I would be fine.
After that event their were only two more days before Spring Break, so we sort of just avoided eachother. On SpringBreak he went skiing for 2 weeks. Then he came back and broke up with me. Personally I think he broke up with me because of the suicide attempt. He is a very happy person and he pushs anything that isn't happy away from him.
At first I was just angry, but it wasn't a big deal because our relationship was never that serious and we didn't really do anything sexual. But then I became really depressed about it and I started self injury again. About a month after we broke up he started doing drugs. That was really horrible because I had stopped doing them for him and now he started doing them. So obviously I was mad and hurt. Their were numerous fights after that.
So I was just started to get over him when he tells me he still loves me. Of course I told him the same, when I should have just allowed him to get over me also.
After that school ended so I didn't see him for about two months, when he asked me to hang out. So my bestfriend and me went to his house to get high and it was very awkward.
We didn't talk for a week after that. So then I was talking to his friend and his friend told me that he only dated me because I am hot and that Alex told a whole bunch of people I was a freak anyways. So then I decided to just push my feelings away for him because I thought he wasn't worth it.
Well we just talked recently, although not about anything imporatant, and I realized that I still care about him. School starts in a week and I will probably see him and I might has classes with him. (We are both in the same program for intelligent students)
Having said all that, I want to know what I should do about this situation? Should I just try and forget my feelings for him. (I have liked him for 7 months now) Should I just try and be his friend or should I just still like him? And how am I supposed to act at school when I see him now? It is going to be very awkward.
Thanks for any advice you can give. :) I know it was way too long.
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I know exactly what happened here and why he broke up with you.He saw that you cut yourself and do everything possible to get yourself killed and he had to cope with that because he liked you but then when you wanted to commit suicide,he broke up with you because he realised if he didnt,he would be REALLY heartbroken if he was still with you and you killed yourself.People dont fall in love with others so their mates can go off complaining how theyre going to commit suicide,they just want to be happy.Yes,he dated you at first because he thought you were hot and he wanted to see if he was going to like your personality as much as your looks and it turns out he didnt because of all what you told him and what youre doing to yourself.You didnt really mention any reasons why you want to commit suicide.If you need help on anything eles id be more than glad to help you though.He told everyone youre a freak because you only got to know the guy for like 2 months and you told him EVERYTHING about you,what do you expect.Well at least it teaches you not to make the same mistake again.I think its best you and him stay FREINDS only.
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