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Unwanted House Guests
Myself and my fiance are 26 and I have a 2 1/2 year old from a previous relationship. We have been together for 1 1/2 years and engaged for 1. Last week my fiance had a couple of friends that were looking for an apartment to live in. They are supposed to be moving into the ones where we live. Without asking me, Josh invited them to stay with us until their apartment is ready. It has been almost a week now since they came to stay. It made me really angry that he did not ask me if I cared if they stayed, he just invited them and told me they were staying. I'm upset because I am the one paying all the bills right now because he just finished college and has not found a job yet. Our apartment is really small and was cramped with just our stuff in it. Now our dining room is stuffed with their things and they have taken over our living room too. We only have a couch in our living room because it it tiny. At night after I get home from work I like to make dinner then lay around and watch TV for a while before I go to bed. Since they have been there I don't get to sit on the couch or watch TV. I have been coming home and going to my room to read. Josh gets upset with me because I don't want to sit out there with our "company". I wouldn't mind hanging out with everyone, but when I do sit in my living room I either have to sit on the floor or pull a chair from my dining room to sit on. I feel like my son is getting shorted by them being there too. He is used to having free roam of the house and playing where ever he wants to in the apartment. Now he is confined to his room and can not play anywhere else and when he tries to he gets into trouble for getting into their stuff. Then over the weekend we had a birthday party to go to for my grandmother. I made it clear to Josh the night before that I did not want them in the house while we were gone. When we got ready to leave the next day Josh handed them his keys so they could come and go as they please. It's like my thoughts and opinions don't count anymore. Then when I try to explain to him how I'm feeling he gets angry with me and thinks I'm being rude to them. I like my personal space and I hate it when I don't have it. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Josh thinks I'm too controlling on things like this, but I'm tired of being stepped on and used. How can I make him see my point of view before I just get angry with the situation and just kick all 3 of them out so it's just me and my son again?
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If you guys are getting married, it's important that you have open communication. No marriage can survive without it. Which includes him ASKING if these people can stay there for awhile while getting situated.
You need to sit down with him, and talk with him about the situation calmly and clearly, ask him how much longer they are staying and make sure that the "guests" know that they should be out by such and such date. Point out everything that you just pointed out here that is causing this "help" to be more of an inconveince.
It's one thing to help friends but if your not careful they will soon take advantage of that, and think they have an unlimited stay at your place.
Your right, your child should be able to roam around his own house.. reguardless of their stuff.. and you should be able to come home after a long days work and relax. There is NO way my husband would ever invite someone here to stay without talking to me first.. if he doesn't see your point? Invite a friend in to stay a few days.. see how he likes not being asked and inconveinced even furthermore. ^^
Hope you get peace and quiet soon.
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