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Hi, there Amanda.
I know you personally, but I'm not telling you who I am. You may figure it out, and if so, good for you. Alrighty, well, I've got a question..
My boyfriend of 3/4 months whom I'm madly in love with is out of town for six weeks.. (Know who I am yet?) ..And for about 2 or 3 days now.. (Since he's left.) ..My best friend of 2 years, who is male, has been more.. Flirtacious? No, no. More 'short-and-to-the-point' about what he wants.. Sex. He's so precise with his comments and let's me know that he wants it. I love him to death, but I'd never cheat on my boyfriend. When he says stuff, I usually just laugh it off, but it's hard because he's my bestfriend and I do want to hang out with him, just without the physical contact. I don't want to tell him to stop, because I don't want to hurt his feelings and ruin our friendship. It's just that he has a girlfriend as well and he knows I have a boyfriend. I don't know if he just wants to lose it and keep it a secret or if he wants a relationship. He has stated that he's jealous of mine and my boyfriends feelings for each other, as well as everyone elses.
I'm asking you as a fried that gives good ass adive. What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know I don't need to tell you that you definitely shouldn't give in to his offer. You know that already, and I know you definitely won't give in.
Yes, I know that confronting him may be hard, but how else will he know that you aren't interested? You can be assertive without being mean and ruining a friendship.
First of all, do not try talking to him when he's mad/sad/in any kind of bad mood. And also don't do it in front of a bunch of people. You know how guys are, they sometimes act "macho" around their friends. Oh, and don't yell, either. I know you wouldn't, but I thought I might as well tell you that. People get defensive when they're yelled at, do you know what I mean? He might just try defending himself and not really listen to what you're saying.
You should probably say something along the lines of this, "______ (name), I know you've been wanting to have sex with me, but I really don't want to. I have a boyfriend who I love very much, and you have a girlfriend. We're friends, and I want it to stay that way."
He should stop. If he doesn't, and keeps asking, I think you should reconsider the friendship altogether. I mean, think about it: Is someone who constantly pressures you to have sex with him (When he knows you have a boyfriend) REALLY that great of a friend? A friend respects you and your decisions.
He may be your friend, but he has NO RIGHT to take advantage of you.
If it becomes too much to handle, or if he starts getting violent, you need to go to an adult you trust for help.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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