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Please help me.
I work with this really great girl that I didn't initially have feelings for, but as I've come to know her, I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not good at picking up girl's signals, but it looks to me like she flirts with me a lot. Laughs at my jokes, smiles a lot, I'll catch her staring every now and again, but I've misread these signals before.
Plus she's got this boyfriend who's kind of clingy, emotional, neurotic and all this. They've been going out for awhile and live together, but they won't anymore starting this fall. He'll be in another city and she has said that they don't have near the chemistry they did earlier(I guess that can be said for everyone though) and that she hadn't broken up with him yet because of the way he might take it.
So I guess the question's pretty obvious. I don't want to be passive about this and let her get away, yet I feel like for some reason, now isn't the right time. What should I do? Thanks
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heeyyy!!! alright this situation absolutely sucks, because i've been in it before! i'm not entirely positive about whether she likes you or not because you're not either, but i think she probably does. if she is giving you some signals and is telling you that she wants to break up with her bf and stuff, then she probably does have a crush on you. as far as what you should do right now... well let's face it, she still has a bf. and if they are living together, then it must be pretty serious. she says that she doesn't want to break up with him because of his feelings, but that probably only means that she also isn't sure if she WANTS to break up with him. she cares for him enough to the point where she doesn't want to do something to hurt him, so some of her feelings, if not all of them, are still there for him.
when i liked a guy that was in a relationship, he liked me too and he even told me. we always hung out and stuff, and eventually his gf got really mad and suspiscious about it. he didn't know what to do... whether to break up with her or not, and after a few months he told me that he decided to stay with her because he "thinks he loves her." basically, from that i learned that messing with someone in a relationship can only get you hurt in the end. this girl will end up with a guy either way... her current bf or you... but if she chooses her bf over you, then you end up with nothing and your hopes are all destroyed.
so as hard as it may be, the best thing for you to do is treat her like a friend and think of her as nothing more. so what if her bf is leaving soon and they might break up? it hasn't happened yet, so for all we know it might never happen. why get your hopes up about it and risk getting hurt? just forget about it now, see what other girls are out there, and if sometime down the road those 2 do break up, you can go ahead and see if you can persue a relationship with her! :) let me know if you need more help!
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