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me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months. i love him to death and hes going to be the ONE. we spend hours talking about our wedding plans and the future and i am extermly happy with him....but i cant stop thinking about suicide. im so happy with him but i remember all the mistakes i have made and it depresses me and makes me want to just fall off the earth and die. even mistakes from like 1st grade i still am embarassed. everytime i walk by a mirror i want to throw up. i cant stand my apperance. i always feel so fat, ive had many long lasting eating disorders. no matter how much anyone ever tells me im beautiful or wicked skinny. i just want to DIE. im only 15 so theres not much i can do. anyone have any suggestions? thanks for your help. i rate 5's.
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Here's a quote: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The problem you are facing (regret and self hatred) will pass! You must realize that you cannot change the past. What's done is done. What's done cannot be undone. So move on. Just say sorry to the people you hurt (including yourself =[) and focus on the now. You're 15, you're supposed to be having fun and enjoying your youth! Don't spend time dwelling about what you have done wrong. You have a great boyfriend. All YOU need to be worrying about is him and grades.
About the eating disorders. Find a diet that is right for you. There are tons of diet plans out there for different people. Here are some:
1. Fat Flush diet
2. South Beach diet: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
3. Atkins diet: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
4. Weightwatchers: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Not eating makes your bones weaker and makes you store everything you eat in the future, making you fatter than you were. Throwing up the food you eat destroys your esophagus and throat.
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Well some things like having a perfect boyfriend can help you remember all those bad times other times in your life. It seems that you are in love with a person right for you but... those other feelings can sometimes get in the way of a good and healthy relationship. Telling him about all your thoughts about suicide, he will care if he loves you. Also everyone makes mistakes and sometimes they seem to be so bad it's like how will i ever get over this. Thinking this way will get you no where. It hurts inside to have all that pain and half to put on a happy face... but talking to the people you love most can make all yhe more difference than everyone here trying to give you their advice. Talk to him... tell him how you feel... and he will be the one to make all the difference. Good luck and hope I helped!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Baby Blue Sucker800~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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suicide is not the answer to anything! please stop having those thoughts. we just had a huge discussion on this in health class and i honestly dont mean to lecture you, im sure youve heard it all before, everyone is beatiful and individual and thats what makes them a great person! if you feel like your losing control of your life, then you need to talk with your parents, which might not sound very good right now, but you can also talk to your boyfriend!!! hes been with you for six months and i think that he could really help you out. when people say you look pretty and thin they are probably not lying! go see a counselor or phsyciatrist that can help you also. if you dont feel confident about your image, then eat healthy, excerise daily, and pamper yourself! have fun because life is short and you only get one of them. go to a beauty counter with your friends or the movies or the mall and buy some new clothes!take up after school activites to busy yourself but stay positve and if your always in control of your life, its going to coast by a whole lot easier. i hope i helped ask for anything if you need to much love & luck!!!
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