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What should I do about my ex?
I'm a 16/m and hope you can help because you seem to give really good advice.This is kinda long so I have no idea if you will read it, but hopefully you'll take the time to. Well I guess I'll start when me and my ex went out. I liked her all through 9th grade but I had just started going out with this girl when my ex dumped her bf and told people she liked me. I won't get into my first relationship, but skip over to the last month of summer. I had broken up with the girl I was seeing at the end of 9th grade. I was still depressed over it. Then one day I was sitting on the computer and started to talk to Jeneen(my future ex). I remembered how much I liked her and asked if she wanted to come over sometime. And to my surprise she said yes. She came over and it was a little awkward until she was standing in my living room completely glued to the tv. I stood up, grabbed her hips, and pulled her towards me and kissed her. Haha she didn't even turn around until the least second. Then from the rest of the day on, just non stop kissing. I stopped to look her in the eye and asked, "So it's safe to say you like me?"
She said, "I don't know. Do you like me?" I said, "Yeah of course." She said, "I like you too." Then I asked her out and we were going out. I won't get into detail about things that happend when we were going, but things were perfect.(to me they are at least) We both loved each other in no time and spent so much time together. She gave her virginity to me. But then she was acting strange the least week we were together. She was kind of distant, and she kept talking about this girl we both knew and saying how she told her she liked me and felt so sad. I was like and you're gonna dump me to make her feel better!? Then it happend.
I was over my friends when she did it online. I was mad and kept saying whatever and her friend IMed me and said I was being a jerk. So much happend after we broke up, but I'll make it as short as possible. I was acting crazy when we broke up. I wrote her a note asking her back out, and she wrote one back saying sorry and we should wait. I didn't want to wait though. I asked her to hang out and she said yes, but ditched me twice. Then one day she was finally on my bus so I of course sat with her and asked if we were hanging out today. She said she felt sick. I acted mad and guilted her to come over.
It was awkward until I got up in my living room and hugged her as hard as I could. We went back into my bedroom and it was like we never broke up so I asked her back out. She surprisingly said no. I was shocked and I broke down and cried in front of her. She hugged me and kept kissing me. Then she went home. She ditched me 6 more times after that day. It was also the last day we ever kissed. After around a 1 1/2 months of being broken up I then got involved with her bestfriend behind her back. During the 1 1/2 months I was a wreck. I called her all the time to like negotiate going back out. She told me she still loved me which then turned to I Still like you which turned to I dont know if I still like you.
So I got involved with her friend who was so nice to me. I didn't do it for revenge. I just needed someone to replace jeneen. Jeneen found out and a huge thing was made out of it. She completely changed her tune. "You never loved me! You're the biggest ****" and blah blah blah. So things fell through with her friend after a few weeks. I immediatly realized I still liked my ex. We were friends at this point so I called her with intention on telling her.
She was out with friends when I called her. I told her and she was like, "Oh well if you want you can call me when I'm home." I got to say I didn't mind that answer. So 2 hours later I signed online and she IMs me saying how she made out with this senior kid. I called her and was like you can't be serious. Turns out she had been drinking. The next morning when I checked my away message I had 10 IMs from her telling me how sorry she was. We talked and I asked if she still liked me and she said, "I don't know." So I asked her to hang out way too much and called her too much. Her friend(the one I was with) yelled at me.
"Why do you act like she likes you!? SHE DOESN'T" I already knew she didn't, but I was trying to make her like me. We hung out once after a wicked long time of asking. She brought another friend when I made it clear I wanted to chill alone. I even tried to kiss her that night, but she just sat there. This happend around the end of january. Needless to say the night didn't go as planned. So back to present. It's been six months. I went to parties at jeneen's with my bestfriend paul who was starting to like her friend (the one I was with). So I went, but everytime I watched her gradually get closer to this ugly kid who stayed back named kevin. It killed me because they were soon cuddling and making out, but like an idiot I went every weekend. She is now going out with this kevin kid officially.
I sent her a long note telling her how much I still loved her, I couldnt stand the thought of her with someone else, I just want her to be happy so be happy with whatever she does, to be with kevin if it makes her happy, and I have to distance myself from her. She told me she got it and it was very nice and thank you. I said theres nothing to thank I just wanted to say it. She said, "Well it was really nice and I liked it so thank you." I said welcome and then she asked how I was doing. I lied and said alright and she said she was glad.
I havn't talked to her since. Been about a week. I still love her so much. Everyone tells me that the kevin kid a geek and that it will NEVER last, but I have trouble believing them. I see them in the halls all the time and they don't seem to be a good couple, but I also saw how they were out of school... She's also in my gym class. Today was our first day and I steered clear of her. I have no clue as what to do. I love her and she now knows. I feel a little better with each passing day, but then theres days I feel terrible. What should I do? Maybe just suggestion or ideas? I still love her so much and having little interest in anyone else around me. Please help in any way possible with any kind of advice.
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sorry about the late response. schools been crazy lately.
you can't juss lose feelings for people you love, & that's probably difficult. it seems like she did like you, but she's only watching out for herself. i could be wrong, but i'm a girl, & i'm friends with girls, & to me it seems like she likes you when its convienent for HER. meaning she can flip flop back & forth & doesn't really watch out for YOU. this could totally do damage to your feelings & even hers. obviously you shouldn't break things up with them. since she knows how you feel from the note & everything, it's all in her hands. it'll probably be difficult leaving things go & letting her decide, but you should. she has a bf & knows how you feel so she can decide how she feels towards her current bf & you. you are still in HS so there's plenty of time. juss because she has bfs right now er throughout HS, doesn't mean there's no room for you. maybe all she needs is some space. i'd suggest talking about it with her first to let her know you still care about her, love her, but since she has a bf you don't want to disrespect him. if you really can't take it, maybe talk to him about it. a lot of guys, even maybe most, would date girls if theyre some-what attractive & if that girl likes them, not juss cause they like er even love that girl. basically what i'm saying is he might not have any real feelings towards her, but they're dating because he doesn't want some other gf er he likes her as a friend even. sounds weird, but i heard a lot of cases like that. juss remember, these type of relationships are completely normal & they tend to swing back & forth. if you guys are meant to be together you will be. it might take time. you should try some-what moving on. i don't mean totally, but get out, meet new people, hang out with friends, etc. juss so that by some weird chance she doesn't want to go back out, then you're okay & better than before. it does seems like she likes you to a point, so maybe you guys can become friends & that can grow. juss give her time & see how things work out. if she wants to be your friend, that's fine. you should hang out with her so you guys can even become closer & work from there.
sorry it was a bit long. thanks for leaving it in my inbox & if you have anything else to ask juss lemme know.
-hope that helped!♥
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