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i just want to be happy again
hey my name is frances i am 19 i recently broke up with my boyfriend, and i did the most stupid thing in the world when i met him to give back his stuff. i slept with him and all my feelings came pouring back just when i thought i was going to be able to move on. i told him i felt used so that he could get what he wanted he told me that hurt him to think that he would use me. but that is how i feel because when we met he told me i was beautiful and that he never for meant fo this to happen( we were b/f g/f, for two years) and he said everything that he has always said to me so i gave in and we had sex at his place now i feel used and he says that he did not use me that he does care about me. how can i get over him. i dont have alot of friends becuase well that is another story so no one to hang out with and i am always at work and constantly thinking about him it gets bad at night when i am at home alone. please help i just want to be happy again.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Clearly you and your boyfriend broke up for a reason. Now, I don't know what that is so I don't know if he cheated on you or if you drifted apart or if you just couldn't be together any more but if it's something you think you can work through (provided he didn't cheat on you/physically harm you) then there's no reason you couldn't give it another shot.
That being said, it's implied in your problem that you would rather get over him than get back together with him. This is something which is far harder to do and possibly the reason why so many women get back with men that are no good for them. If he's treated you badly, you don't want to be one of those women.
The only thing I can suggest is that you try to create as many harmless distractions for yourself as possible. Take some courses with your local adult learning centre or do some extra curricular activities. Join a club. By doing one or more of these, you will not only be giving yourself something to think about besides him, you'll be achieving something, which will boost your self esteem and you'll be meeting new people, which will help your self confidence.
It WILL be hard and I'm sorry to say that nothing will make this any easier (except possibly ice cream and a myriad of other tasty treats that are havoc for the waistline) but at least finding other things to occupy your mind will help you to stop thinking about him all the time and will help you find the confidence and peace to move on.
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Hi Frances,
Whether or not he was using you, it already happened. And you don't really want to blame either him or yourself too much because then you're ging to be wasting a lot of energy and keeping in a lot of pain.
It's going to take time for you to get over him. But now, you've got more time for yourself and it's important that you don't use it to be sad only. You can make more friends now, at school or work. Go jogging, walk in the park, or do some kind of excercise- it tends to make you happy.
Everytime you get over a particularly bad day, do something nice for yourself, you earned it.
And at night, burn some soothing candles, like lavender or something you like, and snugggle in and if you're sad it's ok. But you can bet that it will get better. And the excercise could make you so tired, you'll be asleep before you know it.
Good day to you, Durga
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