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Lord help me.
I am a 13 year old girl, and for a while, I considered myself "straight." Now, I'm really freaked out. I have a big crush on my lesbian English teacher (FYI, she's made it public that she's a lebian---I'm not just assuming). I'm so scared. Having a crush on a teacher is bad enough, and on a female teacher is awful. Mind you, I don't have a discrimination against homosexuals, but I don't like to think of myself liking someone of the same sex. I feel like such a creep. Does this make me a lesbian as well? I mean, I've liked only guys of my own age (but those were huge, long-term crushes), but still...I am so scared.
If anyone at school finds out about this, my life is over.
~Stella Luna~
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No, it doesn't make you a lesbian. You're not a lesbian unless you decide to call yourself one. Trust me, I have had crushes on several people of whatever gender and many of them were teachers. So have many of my friends. You're not a creep, you're a human being. Also, you're a YOUNG human being, so you're going to feel a lot of new, conflicting emotions during the next few years. It's not wrong to feel this way. It's part of who you are. Don't put yourself down over this, I have been down that road and I can say that it gets you nowhere fast. It's normal to be scared of these feelings, but you will overcome it in time. When I was about thirteen or fourteen and was just discovering my sexuality, I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I thought my friends would surely hate me for it, so I confided in a journal. I strongly reccommend that, it's a great way to get all your thoughts out. As it turned out, my friends didn't hate me. In fact, they thought it was wonderful. Though I'm 100% sure your life won't be over if anyone finds out about it, it's nobody's business but yours. I'm also 100% sure that most people you know are beginning to or will very shortly begin to discover their own sexualities, and that includes (but is by no means limited to) having crushes on members of the same sex. It's a difficult struggle--maybe it shouldn't be, but it is--and if you are comfortable with it, try talking to your lesbian teacher. She would no doubt be very willing to help you with any difficult times.
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