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Married young
I read that you are married and still just 23. Well I just wanted to ask you how you're doing with that and stuff. If you could go back would you have waited to get married at a young age? My sister is 19 and was just proposed to by her boyfriend of 4 years and she's trying to figure out if she would be able to handle a marriage right now.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It really depends on the individual person and relationship. Even though I loved my husband and was thrilled by the proposal, I put in some serious thought before I agreed to marry him. Because I wanted a life-long commitment, I needed to make sure I was making the right choice. My husband agreed to give me time and I took a few days alone to think it through, exploring every angle. I decided I was ready for a life-long commitment and ready to give myself completely to the relationship. I had had time to experience some of life so I was ready to settle down. For me, it was the right choice.
I'm not saying it's always been easy. We have the usual ups and downs that come with any relationship. However, our love and commitment to each other have allowed us to get through the rough times. Working through the rough times together has actually helped to cement our relationship and I feel that we have a much stronger relationship because of it. I have no regrets of marrying when I did. I consider it one of the best things I've ever done in my life.
I would suggest your sister take a few days to herself to see if marriage is the right move for her. Is she ready to deal with the commitment? Have she and her boyfriend worked through any issues they have? If there are things that she's unsure of, they need to be worked out now, before she makes the commitment. Do they communicate openly with each other? I think open communication is necessary for any relationship, especially marriage.
If they run into problems, are they willing to work together to get through them? I'm on a relationship forum and one of the problems that I see a lot is couples running into problems and only one partner making an effort to resolve it. It's important for the couple to work together.
Do they have similar marriage goals? Have they discussed children? This can sometimes be a serious issue. For me, I knew I wanted children and could not be with someone who did not want children. Luckily, my husband felt the same way. We're expecting our first child now. Do they have similar financial values? If their values towards money are widely different (one spends money at an alarming rate while the other puts back every extra penny), it could lead to problems down the road.
Both need to be sure before they take the step into marriage. While it's normal to be nervous (I almost passed out on my wedding day from nerves), if there are any serious doubts, they should hold off until they are resolved.
I hope that I've managed to help with your situation. If you have any more questions, feel free to send them to my inbox here or to the email on my column.
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