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boysss
Alright this is going to be long so brace yourself.I was going to im you but i figured i'd ask here anyway. Okay well ive only talked to you maybe once...literally, but well a few weeks back i had a thing going on with this guy. we liked eachother alot and things were starting to like be good again ( we had dated before but fought alot and other stuff) but i made a stupid mistake and hookedup with someone while i was under the influence... and so were my other 2 friends there with me, but anyway I ended up hooking up with this guy and i woke up the next morning knowing i had made a hige mistake and i was going to be in deep trouble. I thought about telling the guy i liked about everything but then i got scared thinking about what would happen if i did so i waited a day. Then he found out from the guy i hooked up with what i had done and was super mad and ended everything with me. So then he got online ( being the brave kid he was lol) and yelled at me and called me names, and got his friends to do the same. Wouldnt talk to me or anything. So i left him alone and things calmed down. Then the day after christmas he decided to talk to me again and he appologized for being rude and i had already appologized for my actions but i did again, and we deciced we would hangout and talk about everything. we talked online and on the phone. and then we hung out one day and got everything out.
The next few days we continued to hangout and got close a gain and everything was fine like it used to be. and i was glad because in my right mind i truley would have never done that. If you knew the whole story behind our relationship you would understand but im not going into that because it would take forever. So everything was liek amazing and good and we were like on the right track again. and then come the day after new years eve which i spent with him and had an amazing time, he says that he doesnt trust me and its because of what his friends told him that they didnt want him to like me. So he is listening to his friends and all this junk, and i talked to him about everything we had done and talked about the past few days i even promised him i wouldnt touch the stuff again but he still is like i dont trust you my friends have my back and all this. And he says I still love you but i dont trust you, and he wont admit to his friends that he has these feelints for me, So its like were back to the days when he hated me for my stupid mistake and ive tried everything to show him that he really can trust me. I know he has every reason not to but i dont understand why he would throw away that week of getting better just because his friend said something, and the thing about his friend is that he has cheated on a girl before so hes being a total hypocrite. I guess what im getting at here is that i dont understand why all of a sudden hes bounced back to that. and how can i show him that he really can trust me, because i really do like him alot. I hope that isnt too much to take in, and thank you in advance for the advice.
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I really hope I can help you out here because I can tell from the way you wrote your question, that you are very sincere.
Before I get started though, I HAVE to say to anybody reading this, that ALCOHOL (especially for GIRLS) is playing with FIRE! It sounds like you learned the hard way but so many bad things happen when girls drink...and BTW - Guys know this!! Why do you think they love getting girls drunk?! It's like hunting a duck that can't fly....you can NOT make good judgements under the influence. Drinking does NOT make you cool -it makes you VERY uninhibited (which means all morals are weakened).
Ok. Sorry. I had to say all that. I try very hard to be open minded. I really do NOT judge anybody that drinks. I believe God wants us to support each other - not condemn each other. But it is breaking my heart to watch things like you described happen. Ok so on to your problem...
I believe the foundation for any good relationship is TRUST. Trust includes knowing that your special someone won't flirt, won't lie, won't cheat, will be loyal, won't hurt you, won't betray you...blah blah blah. It's not just scary to give your HEART away to someone...you also give away your EGO and self-respect.
What you describe to me about your bf is a poor guy that has been crushed. This isn't just about trust. It's about his ego. (Egos are THE most fragile thing about guys) When friends get involved and start saying he looks foolish, it's very hard for YOU to overcome this problem.
My personal opinion is that ALL successful relationships require the support of family and friends. So my advice to you is to start there...I've seen a lot of people in your situation go the oposite direction and declare full blown war over this person's attention and loyalty. Don't FIGHT the friends - fix the PROBLEM with the friends. And let your bf know this is what you want to do.
But remember - once trust is gone, it's going to require a TON of work (and TIME) to earn it back. You need to be humble, and patient. This is not going to be repaired overnight. As you described very well...relationships can be destroyed over one night - but it's not so easy to fix them.
There is a whole lot more I could say on this subject but I really think you need to start here and see how it goes.
And please DO im me. Most of the time, my away is up, but I check it a lot and I may just be sitting here working or something else. So try me after you read this. SteeleSlavsMom
Much Love, Mrs S
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