|
Alrighty there is this guy we have been good friends since like 8th grade and we have always sorta liked eachother.. but we have never really gone out. Since the begining of this year he will call me and wanna hang out and that will last for about a week and i think everything is going fine but then another girl will come into the picture and he will pick her over me. One of my friends talked to him about it and he just said that he always likes me and some other girl(Like he likes something different in the other girls or some bullshit) and im always like ohh im soo over it.. but the truth is im never really over him.. its just hard i guess when like we have been pretty close for a long time and he sometimes makes things like really akward between us and it pisses me off.. because he is like well if we go out it mite be akward ...but im like what the heck u make things akward..Because i always talk when he is around im not like shy or anything and he is the one like staring off and acting like he is annoyed or something and then he does the thing where he makes it akward.. ya know what i mean and im just like what the heck?!! l0l Ugh i know ur probally like "omg get over it" but im so sick of him calling me then ditching me.
I just need to know if i should move on for good this time?
Thank You :)
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
No, I'm not going to tell you to "get over it." but I DO think you need to get a bit more strategic.
There are a couple of things going on at your age. First of all, most of the fun in a relationhip is the actual CHASE. Isn't it exciting to finally get that special person to LIKE you back?! But then what....? Then you sit around waiting for when and who will be the one to "dump" the other and then the stress starts. So really, the best part of the whole relationship thing is the chase - right????
Ok, then the other thing is that guys are already figuring it out that being single is amazing. Because they are also having fun chasing and not having the "responsibilities" and the "obligations" associated with finally chosing just ONE girl. So, for a guy to give up all that fun of being single, he is looking for a girl that is "really worth it!" So the trick is to make the guy feel that it's an amazing accomplishment to finally get you to say YES to being exclusive with him. He needs to feel like giving up the exciting world of being single is worth it!
So, your friend seems like he's probably going through a couple of things at once.
1. The fun of chasing - not just you but other girls. *Important note here - it's no fun if a guy starts to chase and catches the girl really fast. It makes him not value what he just caught. (This is probably THE most important part of my advice to you because it sounds like he IS the one chasing but you're too easy to catch and he keeps looking for something that's more of a challenge)
2. Talking himself out of pursuing any type of formal comittment to you because he doesn't want to ruin what yall have worrying about breaking up.
Even the best of friendships sometimes don't survive the ego crushing of a breakup.
So, with all that said, how do YOU feel about turning this great friendship into something else? Is it worth the risk?
If you still think you want this guy to go to the next level in your relationship, you need to remember that part of the fun is the chase. I think this is why he always seems to have you AND another random girl he likes. YOU are a sure thing. It doesn't sound like you are challenge. The other girls ARE. So my advice, don't act so eager to go out with him. But wait...don't interpret this as I'm telling you to go make him jeleous! This is transparent to everybody and will just make you look foolish and probably damage your friendship with him. Just let everybody know that you decided to keep your relationship at the friendship level. Even if you hear he is starting to like you, stick to your guns. Make HIM chase you (FOR LONGER THAN A WEEK)! And make him work for it! It'll be more fun for you anyway. As a girl, don't you think it's more fun to be chased than to chase????
AND I think you have a huge advantage here. I think your friend really DOES like you. Nothing stings more (girl OR guy) than when someone that has liked you for a long time, suddenly STOPS liking you!!! It's a scary feeling! Like, "OMG! What's wrong with ME?!" From your question, it sounds like this is what is going on but you let him feel like he's won back your feelings too fast.
So don't give up. Just change the game. Make him work hard. Make him EARN your love. Then he won't take it (and YOU) for granted.
Let me know if this helps.
]
More Questions: |