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so this guy...
sooo..i have been friends with this guy for 5 years......we have become better friends the past year....well now i am startin to realize that hes showing signs of this other guy that i dated a few years ago....this recent guy..well i live far away from him..opposite coast..all last year..he said that he would come and visit me..just like the other guy would..yet would back out each time..at the last second..saying that he had no $$..i offered to pay for his ticket..he still backed out a few days before he was suppose to come..sayin it was just too much at the time..
him and i got physically close the past summer..but then i didnt hear from him for 2 months.he said because he had a lot he was dealing with that he wasnt talk to much of anyone..because he daughter was born (of which he didnt tell me till like a month after we were sexually close...which we were close only a few days after his daughter was born..no hes not with the mother..he wants nothing to do with the mother..but is "there" for his daughter)...so he said that he was dealing with that..and he was unemployed etc..so like 2 months went by..and then he was all wanting to talk to me..i gave him the cold shoulder..he was all like..i soo upset with myself..that i damaged our friendship etc etc..please forgive me..i told him that it would take time to get my trust back etc..well that was aug..now in november......he was being all flirtatious with me.in the sense that he wants to be with me....this has been the past few weeks..and then today..hes all like...oh this girl and i are about to get together..when i say that he is playerish..he was like how am i playerish..i am being upfront tellin you about the girl..im like..yeah..but it was just last week..that you were talkin to me...like you want to be with me..he was like that was before her and i would be with each other......point being..i dont think that he sees it..but...behind it..there's a good friendship..like i can go to him for stuff..he doesnt pull me down..but i dont like how he is all talkin about stuff..and then poof..i have a gf...or being physically close to me..and i dont hear from him..it will be really hard to totally back away..so i have thought of just puttin distance..but what are your thoughts?
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He is screwing with you. If you two were "close" and then you don't hear from him for two months, he is just not that into you. He was willing to be sexual with you but nothing more. That is a shame since you have been friends for more than 5 years and because noone deserves to be treated that way. It bothers me that he didn't tell you he was having a daughter before you were close. That for me alone is a deal breaker. Especially if I considered him a friend. What probably happened is that he thought it was a friends with benefits thing while you thought it was something different. It does not make what he did okay, but it may explain it a little. He has been your friend and that makes it harder. But you should not be wasting your time on him. You should be putting your effort into someone who cares for you. Keep him as a friend and that is it. Don't respond to the flirting or take it as anything other than superficial. He had his chance and he blew it. He doesn't deserve a second chance.
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