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me again
I re read your mail and further more the reason he said it was over with his ex for months is b/c i brought up the rebound issue. I dont think i was that at all rebounds dont last that long--i know i had them. I just wish he could know i know now that i shouldnt let people walk over me when when i am weak.....im weak..He probobly did see me as someone he could walk all over but i didnt mean to approach it as that or even let it get that far. I wanna be able to show him that...and i cant and maybe never will be able to. I am so tired of listening and writing and not being able to do...i was whole..before i met him i was whole by myslef and maybe i still am but at this time i dont feel i am...he knows i love him and he knows i want him back but i need to show him im no longer there to :fall: back on and he is getting a second job b/c he now has child support coming out of his check he needs to work 2 jobs..welcome to the real world, So hopefully one day he will start to think and realize b/c right now he is not thinking b/c he knows i am there--so all i say i need to act upon or it wont get better--i jut want to sleep-and not do anything--for now--i told people i dont wanna talkabout it unles si bring it up...except with you of course. As for his things that are here i already thought thats why he left them here--that he will be back--and he told me i deserve them things--i said i dont deserve HIS things they belong to him..i will still need alot of support and i hope you are there...i know how frustrating this must be for you to tell me what i need to know and i am not following on it. I hope you feel better and talk to you soon?....
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I am not bothered by you and I am not getting tired of you. I have been where you are MANY times and I feel for you. After this stage of why..you will begin to get mad at the whole thing and then when you are in one accord, you will fully be able to take the necessary action it will take to move on. That takes effort but right now, the little bit of time off you get is when you rest, until the stupid dreams come and then you wake up and feel.."Damn..is there anywhere I can go to escape this?" You are human. I think you do deserve the things he left, for nothing more than you were good to him. But one of the reasons he wants you to keep the stuff is that he is feeling like an A-hole and guilty for leading you on so it would make him feel good to give yousomething out of the deal. It is not just thatyou deserve it, ihe feels it will, in some way, ease his conscience. So, keep the things,hock them in hard times or use them when you get a new man...just keep them. They are your "parting gifts"...lol. I just want you to take it one day at a time, working on little bits and pieces of what you need to do to get over this. The first thing you need to do is stop thinking and replaying ecerything in your mind, hopeing that he sees things this way or that way and wondering what he may be or should be thinking. Only he knows what is real to him, just as you can only know what is in your mind. Many times we think we know what others are thinking and feeling because we have a history with them, but actually we may come close but we are never right on...so..only think about you and your thoughts. Make those your focus. Make your world with your children your focus...they need you...not him...they've had you longer and will always have you...not him..obviously.
Also, don't worry about your actions "showing him" this or that. Really if you are doing what you need to in order to show him anything, then after a while, if you don't get the desired affect from him (his recognition, him coming back, seeing you as the person who has"it"), then all your work was for naught, you will feel even worse about the situation becasue you will feel as if you've failed again and your work will not be genuine for you and you will gain nothing from it. When you are truely ready, you will start on the road to recovery and will be able to focus but right now, your wounds are too fresh. THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR YOU TO USE...you still need to get on the ball and get it together, I am just saying I understand why it is hard right now. But the longer youwiat, the longer it takes. "Fake it 'til you make it".
I will send you an email from my personal email address...I just have been out of it lately. I am on so much medication that I have fallen behind on everything.
Samone;-)
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