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he is confusing to understand
Dear Honestymatters,
I REALLY REALLY like this guy. I have heard he likes me too but I have also heard he liked another girl who is older than I. I never see him talking to her though. I will go up and talk to him and he will hug me and is soo sweet to me. but he never drops any signs that he likes me except when he hugs me he will like hug me for a long time. I think that is sooo sweet. but I don't know if I think this because I want him to like me or if he really does like me. I REALLY REALLY NEED help. I am scared to talk to him about it cuz I am really shy. That is weird that I am shy though because I am a HS cheerleader and is out in front of everyone on friday nights. but its when it is just me and the person talking about a certain issue is when I get REALLY shy, I think it is because I am afraid of looking like an idiot. HELP ME PLEASE!
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Dear Help Me Please,
Believe only part of what you hear, part of what you read and half of what you see.
Hearing that he likes you, is simply hearsay and is usually never admitted into any court of law. By being too shy, you may blow your chances with him. You say you talk to him, so this shows that you are not completely shy. But if you keep beating around the bush, you may miss the opportunity to get to know him better. It is possible that he just more shy than you are and is afraid that you do not feel the same.
The next time he hugs you for a long time (say this while he is hugging you) You know we can continue this hug after school, if you want. Or compliment him on how he smells, or tell him how warm and comfortable it feels to be in his arms. Tell him it feels like home, you know cozy and safe.
If you don't have his phone number, then get it.
Call him in the evenings, and talk to him. This will give you a stronger presence in his life and he will think about you more. Don't try childish things to get this attention. This can be huge turn off. Just be yourself.
I prefer the more direct approach, myself.
Another thing you could do say this to him: Can I talk to you alone about something?
Then when you get him alone say: I feel really stupid about this because I am shy, but it has been on my mind. I am afraid of sounding like a blithering idiot, so bear with me if I stutter or choke on my words. I heard through the grapevine that you might like me more than a friend. Is this true?
OK, by admitting that you feel stupid, or are afraid of sounding like an idiot lets him know that you are human. By throwing jokes in there, you will make him laugh and this will make it more comfortable for you to say what you need to say. By asking him straight up if he likes you, will get to the bottom of your dilemma. By not indulging that you like him first, there is no chance that either of you will feel awkward about the relationship you have. You have not told him you like him and you don't feel publicly rejected if he says it is not true.
If he says yes, it is true, then you have your answer. At this point you tell him that you feel the same and then make a date with him.
What ever you do there is always the fear of rejection, it comes with life. Do you know how I feel every time I go for a job interview? I am so afraid that they will pick someone else. Most companies want bilingual employees and I only speak English. If someone that speaks Spanish and English walks in and applies for the same job, they will almost definitely get hired over me. This is a crippling thought. It makes me not want to even look for a job.
Yet, I still did and guess what, I was hired by a really good company that is paying pretty decently. I did not give up, even though I was afraid to be rejected. Don't let your fears control your life. You only live once, and everything that happens in your life makes you the person you are.
Stop running on cruise control. Take your life by the steering wheel and go any direction you want.
I do hope I helped you, and write me anytime OK :)
Good Luck
Sincerely,
Honestymatters
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