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its happened again...
I know i asked you advice the other day and your proboly busy..but since then i did have text conversations with him and he said he was going to come over last night....he was looped up and he texted me and said "booty call for ys tonight:) ) and i was lik eoh no he didnt-so texted him back and said "yah he already left" he said "oh ok good any left for me?" and i said maybe. He said gues i will have to find out then" I said guess so" so then like 2 hrs later he texted me and said he dont think he is going to make it b/c he drove with his dad and they were still his his nans house and at this point i was already looped up--and i said "no dont do this not now" He said im sorry and please dont be mad or disappointed at me but i think it would be for the better anyhoo and i dont want you to think it is leading into something" I siad i wont you come over before" and he didnt text me back. And i said 5 minutes andhe said"i know hon but i dont want you to think it leading into something" I said I WONTi wouold even go get him and he didnt say anything. so then i said You there? he didnt say anything and i left it at that. What the hell is going on? Right nowi am really upset he would even say something like that i think he was going to come and then he told his parents he was coming down here and they proboly said something to him-Yes i am upset he even used the word booty call-and i was going to approach him with that when he got here-and i know this is it--i cant do this any longer but then he is paying my cell phone bill....i think that is his "tie" with me. WHat can i do now? i know i am asking for way too much and i told myself i would text him and i did but that was just to ask him a question if his mom was working(she works at a bar and you have to be buzzed in) and i just wanted to see if she was working and if she would let me in--and then he would text me back with no pauses like he wanted to conversate. Did you get my last advice? Please help keep me sane. What does this look like to you?
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I am going to say this to you, he told you in so many words what he wanted. First, he has no respect for your feelings when he can call you up after not talking to you or barely texting you to sya he was coming over for a booty call...like he has it like that. He basically knows what he can get from you and was going to use you for that. That was disrespectful BUT the only way a man will respect a woman is if he feels and knows that SHE respects herself, and from his first few texts, he knows that when it comes tohim,, you lose not only your self respect but your mind. But the BIG BIG thing was why he actually didn;t come. Sweets, he told you HE DOESN;T WANT YOU TO THINK IT WAS GOING TO LEAD ANYWHERE...and I am soo sorry he even called to ask for the sex because he then had to retract his offer and he gave you the hard truth. But I know, the truth hurts but he said it anyway. If he would have come over, do you think that you would have been able to NOT have sex withhim?? Do you think that after he told you no and you kept tellinghim that you wouldn;t think more of the booty callthan it really was that he isn;t going to try to do it again?? You have to be stronger. Sex is GREAT!!!! But only when it has the mutual consent and understanding of both involved in regards to what it is TRUELY all about, what it is leading to and the overall relationship between the two people invovled. I will say thins, I am not feeling him AT ALL BUT I am glad he didn;t come over...that would have sent you into a tailspin that you would have really needed someone there for you in person to make sure you were okay. As far as the tie that you feel is keeping you..the cellphone. Again, does he have credit?? If so, you both can terminate the agreement and he would be able to get his own phone and pay his own bill. Have you tried calling the cellphone company and trying to get the ties severed?? Is it that with the current plan you have the bill is MUCH cheaper for the both of you together than it would be apart?? WHATEVER the reason, try to severe the tie. Unfortunately, I say this from experience, once THIS tei is broken (the cellphone) you will consciously or unconsciously find another tie that will "have to be taken care of in order for you to move on". The reason for this is because you still have yet to get him out of your system and with each tie broken, you are still too weak to face the finality of the entire relationship. I hate to say this but Ithink that he looks at you as old reliable. As the woman he can go to for an occassional quickie, for occassional affection and for his cellphone but he knows that the way you feel about him, it is not tothe point where you can do this with no strings attached. You need to find what is good about you and nurture that. Try not to waste all that you are on someone who neither wants it, will accept it, respects it or will give it back you in return. Imagine your daughter going through something like this with a man, what would you want her todo?? What would you tell her?? How would you react to seeing her hurt and fighting for something and someone that means her no good at all?? You would try everything in your power to turn her round and get her on track. So, Sweets, I have alittle news for you..just because your daughter isn't the main woman inthis drama(meaning you) she is still involved and will pick upthings fromthis situation that will manifest itself later in life when she has intimate relationships. You have children and you must be strong NOT just for you but for them...Children learn what they live even even when we, as adults are allwrapped up in our own emotional turmoil. They still know. Don;t be used..don't be played. Take the goodness that is YOU and keep it until you find someone worthy. It is just like we tell our daughters about sex...save it...don;t just give it away to anyone who asks or who throws us a great line. Make the person show he's worthy...make him repsect us, work for it and prove he will treat it with the same love in which we give it. So, just as you would want your daughter to do that for you..do that for yourself. I am here...I was just sick (and still am). I am in the bed and have been on medication. I didn't plan on getting on today but I wanted to check to see if you were okay. Good thing I did. Also, I got your other email...I was at work and sent you something short...Maybe it didn't come through. I will keep my computer on for you and will check it from time to time. I am not answering anyone else today..just you. So...I will check for you later. No bother..Okay??
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