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respose to your advice
I apprectiate your help. I know things will get better but right now i am not seeing it. The only way it will get better is if he comes home. My children miss him i miss him and of course the dog misses him-lol. I know space is what he needs but again and again but b/c i love him and i feel he loves me i will have to somehow give him that. I dont want to be the annoying person who just doesnt get the picture I want ot bring him home not push him away.I always thought when you love someone you dont leave them you work your issues out otgether--thats why i start feeling he doesnt love me like i love him-and he has told me that-what do i do-give him the space be miserable and pray he comes home or let him be be miserable and pray he comes home-either way he gets what he wants and im miserable with out him and I will not look no more--and yah everyone says it happens when i least expect it--but i want that with him-my children are getting older and i want a good life for them not a single mom life with no dad-and i had that and it walked out the door and i couldnt do nothing about it. What do I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First I must apologize for the delay in answering. I had an appointment after work and it took a while. I understand that you feel and have heard that when you love someone youare supposed to stay and work out your problems BUT I also heard that when you love something, yous et it free and if it is TRUELY yours, it will come back to you. In your case, youhave neither set him free (for he is still involved in your life in some way) and you also aren't giving yourself a true chance at seeing if this is really the right man for you. I KNOW( I REALLY DO) how you feel, it is like you hurt so badly without him that you LITERALLY feel it inside your soul and body physically. It is like you are truely aching inside from missing him, but this pain will continue for as long as you continue to let him in and out of your life. As for your comment about working out with someone when you love them, that is true but the one aspect youare missing is that to do that,you really have to have a bond that is stronger than one person leaving when he feels pressure. You BOTH have to stay and be committed to staying and working it out, not part time but all the time. It seems as if he "works it out" when the wind is blowing in the right direction at the right time of the day but when the pressure,whether true or perceived, is turned up, he retreats. Imagine if youand he did get married and a few years go by and you are faced with a serious problem, would you feel confident that he would stay with you?? Years don't make a person stay, it is stick-to-it-ive-ness that makes a person stay adn work it out. Or even better, what if you had faith that he wouldn't leave during the hard times but he surprised you and left. That would be even worse. I know you want to give your children a better life and that the dog missed him but a better life isn't one necessarily where you have to wonder if your man will leave later in life, why he may be acting distant, or one where you feel you may have to walk on eggshells in order to keep him around and not disrupt his mood. I know it seems hard but if you force things, it may become even harder later on in life withhim if you made him feel pressured to come back but that wasn't what he really wanted. Listen to what he says about coming back and being miserable and such. When we are the ones involved in the love triangle, we tend tomiss important parts of what someone is saying, but when we are on the outside looking in, we can see things objectively and hear what the persons involved in the love situation is neglecting to, not because they are dumb but because thwy are listening with their heart and not their minds. Again, I REALLY don't mean to sound harsh, I REALLY feel your pain and understand what you are going through, I just want you to be happy,not just for the moment but for as long as you can be.
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