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Stone-Wall Around my heart forever?
Hey, I'm 16 and a junior in High school.
Anyway I have a hard time letting people get close to me. It's like it's hard for them to know anything about me. Like I can't let anyone get close to me without giving them a cocky or smart ass remark. I could just met the person and they could say "hello" and I would roll my eyes and be like whatever. Only because I think the person is going to get to know me and then turn around and hurt me in some way shape or form.
It doesn't matter who it is, it could be a girl it could be a guy. It could be my friend's mom! I know its pathic.
I wasn't always like this though It happened right after me and my boyfriend broke up. Me and him where together for 1 1/2 and I loved him with all my heart. But we had a falling out, he started not to trust me around guys, he started to pay more attention to being a fire fighter and putting things before me. When we broke up if I would say something he would say "whore" right away, if I was talking to an older boy he would tell me i was a "slut" if i wore a low cut shirt i was called a "skank". Me and him broke
This happened 8 - 9 mths ago, and since then it seems the "wall" around my heart has gotten worse.It seems to me that, that really changed me, and since I was hurt by the one person i truly care about. Since then me and him have stopped talking, and I lost a few friends because I wouldn't talk to them, I even lost my best friend in it. Also me and my own family are becoming distant, I have a hard time expressing myself now.
I'm so afarid to trust anybody, espcially a guy, because I think that they are going to hurt me and I'm going to end up heart-broke worse then before.
So my question pretty much is, is there any way that I can start to trust people and let people get back in my life?
*Also, please don't say go out and meet other people, I currently am, but I cannot let them get close to me*
Thank-you for ANY help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
You sound sort of similar to me. I didn't close myself off to everyone because of heart break...I just never had the opportunity to be open and let others in. The one thing I realized is...
You cannot control what others do. They may be honest, real, and great in your life. They may also lie, cheat, and hurt you as well. These are things that come with dealing with other people. What you can control is how you react to it. You can let all of these things close you off or you can pick yourself up and make yourself go for it. It is hard, it is scary, you are going to want to run (trust me, I have run away many.... many....times) but in the end you are only hurting yourself. In order to grow you have to put yourself outside your box. If you want, read my journal...its at the top of my column. I talk about that very topic. If I can't help you maybe it might make you feel better that there is someone else out there who is more fucked up than you are. Heh.
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hi, ok guys are always gonna brake your heart, but you cant do notin about emm. most likely its there lost, just ignore them, also friends will come, and friends will go. just have friends now, they mite not be with you forever but you'll neva no unless you try.
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