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Making it Work
Hi all. I'm a senior in high school, and I'm in love with an extraordinary person. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, to share joys, concerns, and everything that might come up. College is coming up, and we've been discussing the seriousness of our relationship to make sure that we have no doubts about eachother, and we're trying to take everything into consideration. We've discussed our veiws on marriage, kids, future goals, values and beliefs that both of us have, and we know each other's families very well. We really want to make sure we can make this work. So my question is, is there anything else we should be taking into consideration? And also, do you think we should plan on going to the same college or colleges near eachother?
Thanks!
P.S. Experienced opinions of people who have been through this before would be especially helpful, but of course any advice is appreciated. :)
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I'm sure that you are going to hear a lot of people saying that you are so young and you don't know and all of that. And yes, you are young, but it sounds like you have taken into consideration a lot of serious matters, more so than a lot of adults do when they go into relationships.
I do think that you both should go to the best colleges each of you can get into. I do think that separate schools, though hopefully within driving distance are possibilities. I also think that once you go to school you should really enjoy it and make new friends and go to parties and enjoy the college life. You can still have fun without cheating. Doing this I think will be an important part of your relationship for several reasons:
1. The more things you experience, the more rich of a person you become. You will be able to have interesting and indepth conversations about things that you never experienced before and that will be something that will help keep that spart alive.
2. You will learn more about yourselves and at no point in your life you will feel like you 'missed out' on anything because of the relationship and you will be able to grow and learn and have fun with each other and with other people in the process.
3. You can prove the naysayers wrong. You can always say well, I'm in college and so is he and we see what is out there and we have lived our lives and we are what each other wants.
Colleges are filled with couples who spend all weekends locked in their dorms with their signficant others and while that is very romantic, at a certain point, it can get a bit boring... having fun and having friends outside of your relationship is something that is important to every lasting long term relationship. (It worked for us).
Good luck with everything especially getting into college. Keep me posted
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Other things like religion,compromising that you may also want to take in consideration,you should go to the same college so you too can spend more time with each other which is good by the way.But remember that someone shouldn't distract you from your studies because they are very important for your future.
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Well, I think you two have hit all the major things in discussion.
By going to the same college, or colleges close to one another, will YOU or him be fufilling YOUR dreams, YOUR goals, YOUR wants, etc?
If not, then I see no point in going to the same college, or one in the same state, or close to it.
My boyfriend and I are currently dealing with the same situation, however, he, nor I are Seniors in highschool. I am a sophmore, and he a junior. In hopes we will be together until he reaches his senior year and beyond, it will be hard for us, considering I'd have to wait an entire year until I go off to college to even be close to him. I live in NJ, he's considered going to Arizona, California, Florida.. Having a somewhat long distance relationship to begin with is hard, so him being a few states over could be horrible for the two of us.
I believe, that if you two were to go to separate colleges, possibly in separate states, it will give you two a sense of direction, let you know what you REALLY want in life. College life is completely different from highschool, so I hear. You'll meet new people, do new things and lord only knows if you two will last the first few months of college life. But, I hope you do.
But, all I can tell you for sure is that, if you two WANT to make it work and will stop at nothing until it does, then it <b>WILL WORK</b>.
Best of luck to you and yours.
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