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What's happened to my heart
I love this guy and he loves me back...well so I thought. He used to tell me this but he hasn't since my bestie broke up with her boyfrined. He has been flirting with her n stuff. He's been sitting next to her, laughs with her and smiles with her. He dosen't do that with me anymore. He has also but his hand on hers before..and they just stare at eachother. Where I'm from that's not meant to happen. I've been crying every night and my heart is breaking. I feel sick...should I dump him?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know a heart break is exactly what it is...a broken heart.
First of all, before you shed any more tears, you're going to need to set some things straight.
You never mentioned if this guy was your boyfriend. I'm assuming he is. If he's not, there's nothing that says he can't go out with your bestfriend. If that's the case you're going to have to have a talk with your bestfriend and the guy all together.
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So if my assumption that he is your boyfriend is correct, read on. If not, just stop here. When you feel badly about something you do NOT want to keep it to yourself. It will just keep growing until you can't take it anymore. It's better and easier to deal with things as they come to you, not when you can't take it anymore.
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I've broken it down to three stages. How far you get through the stages will depend on how good of a boyfriend he is and how much he loves you.
BOYFRIEND
Does he love you?
1. And as you've guessed it, you need to talk to your boyfriend. Just ask him straight forward if he loves you anymore. If he says no, the answer is simple...break up with him. If he says yes, it's not done yet. You're going to need to do some more talking.
Is he willing?
2. Tell him if he still loves you he definitely doesn't show it. Just tell him what you told me. If he listens and wants to stay with you, you need to tell him he needs stop giving so much attention to your bestfriend. If he just pushes it away, it's time to dump him because a good boyfriend would never push away your feelings. If he listens and agrees, you're on the right track.
Did he keep his word?
3. Before you start feeling confident in your boyfriend, you're going to have to take him for a "test run". Has he really taken the effort to spend more time with you and not with your bestfriend? From there it's really your decision if you really want to give him more chances or if it'd really just be better to get over him.
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We're not quite done yet. Obviously since your bestfriend is involved it's going to affect your relationship with her. Just like with your boyfriend, I've broken it down to three stages.
YOUR BEST FRIEND
Does she like him?
1. Ask her if she is interested in your boyfriend. If no, ask her to tell your boyfriend that to his face. If yes, some more talking needs to be done.
Is it okay if she likes him...or not?
2. This part is tricky because I can't tell you whether she should leave your boyfriend alone or if she should go for him. The reason is because if she really likes him, it's not her fault...you can't really stop yourself from liking someone. On the other hand, I doubt a real best friend would flirt around with her best friend's boyfriend. So this is going to have to be your decision, I can't guide you on that one.
Coping with it / Ending it
3. If you decide it's okay if she goes out with your boyfriend, I know it will be hard but try to accept it and deal with it. It is mature of you. Just remember that your boyfriend didn't love you as much as you thought. It'd be pointless to stay with him if he had feelings for someone else. There are definitely other guys for you. There are tons of boys out there. If you decide it's not okay, just tell her that it's not okay. Tell her she was supposed to be your best friend and if she was your best friend she would try to AVOID causing you a heart break.
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So really your solution is to just talk about it. If your best friend and boyfriend decide to work it out with you, that's great. If they do not decide to, that's great too.
I look at it like this: In life there are many, many people in our lives. We all realize that all of these people can't be with us forever. Some good people will drift away, but at least we were lucky enough to know them. Some will just prove to be not worth your time. Life is a test. Not all relationships survive the test, but that's okay, as much as it hurts. The good thing about it is that you've picked out the crappy people in your life. It's hurtful, but be thankful you kicked those crappy people out of your life.
Remember that dating is all about bonding with with someone, gaining new experiences, and finding out what you want and need. If things don't work out, just move on and live life.
Sorry if my advice is not that organized...it's a lot I know. I tried to organize it the best of my ability, lol. Good luck.
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