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He Cheated On Me But I want Him Back Should I give him a Cha
I`ve been with my boyfriend almost a year and half but we broke up because he cheated on me he had one night stand with some girl that he knew when he went to visit his parents for x-mass. It all started when i called him and asked him if he done anything with other girls (I always ask him this stuff cause im Kind of jealous) and asked him to tell me the truth and be honest with me! He said that he made out with some girl that he knew and that he didnt see her again because she left for college away and that he still cared about me and liked me! I got really pissed and sad I couldn't even speak ...i didnt believe it that my boyfriend the person that i cared most and trusted, my best friend did something like that to me! We had a fight and since that day we didnt talk anymore so i guess it was over…! Then recently some weeks ago he wrote me an email and explained to me that he was really sorry for what had happened and that he didnt want to hurt me and that he has changed and doesn't do this things again he also said that since the day that we haven't talk he was feeling really bad and sad and that if he could he would make things up and that he missed me so much! I think he wants to make up again and be like we were before ...I really love him so much and care about him i want him in my life but i m also scared that he would do the same thing again I really don't know what to do! Should i give him one more chance? Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(((( *tears*
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This question has come up very often, not just to me, but even to experts, and I have read their answers and I think they make sense. By all means you should give him another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. If you were married with children, and this happened, would it be worth it to break up the family, over one indescretion, if indeed he is sincere in his promise that it will never happen again? And that is key...you must make it clear, he has only ONE chance. He may have infact changed, people do change. I think the fact that it took a while for him to "feel" the pain of missing you, and "feel" the shame of having cheated on you and hurting you, often that is enough to change someone. If he said this one hour after you caught him, then I would not have believed that it was more than a line.....there would not have been enough time for him to feel the pain of his actions.
HEre is more advice. You do not have to trust him right away. In fact that will be hard, but you to have to work at learning to trust him again. Trust is very important to a healthy relationship. And it is ok to tell him that it will take time, and even if you have to sort of "check on him" on occasion so that you can be assured that he is not, that is ok, as long as it eventually stops. The other thing that is very important. You can't be constantly reminding him of his mistake. Don't bring it up every time you have an argument about something. If you agree to take him back, for your own sake, you must also agree, not to relive the past over and over. That is not healthy.
Also I think you should do something about feeling jealous. It is a waste of energy. Because there will always be cuter, younger, richer, skinner, (take your pick) girls that you. They are out there. That doesn't mean that you don't have value and worth and cannot be loved and cherised by someone who thinks you are wonderful, and doesn't care one bit about all the other girls out there. A real man is like that. Cheating has nothing to do with the girlfriend, (even though they always blame their partner) and everything to do withthe person who is DOING THE CHEATING. They feel inadequate, and need to conquer women to feel good about themselves. It is good to aviod these kinds of men/boys.
I hope this helped. Good luck to you. And like I said, make it clear to him, he has ONE CHANCE, and I think you will both be ok. I hope so because it sounds like you really love him.
Michele
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