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I'm going to try to explain this the best I can without sounding like a middle schooler, and you'r also the only person I've ever mentioned this too because I read over you're Info. and the question you answered and I suppose I believe you can help, so I apologize if your like me and hate those long ass questions. Sorry! Alright, well im 17 and im obviously in highschool. But theres this guy that I like Brad, who I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Hes a genius (they wanted him to skip a grade or two) and hes funny and cute. But all of his friends make so much fun of him because apparently he was a "nerd" in middle school and thats "not the cool thing to be" in middle school. So they made fun of him and it stuck so they still make fun of him. I'm friends with someone who used to be a good friend to him and he told me that Brad had tried to commit suicide by hanging himself with a belt or something from his door. But it was too long or something odd like that so it didnt work. I suppose he didn't honestly want to die or he would have tried again. But im also not supposed to have this information, but you know how friends tell secrets when they arent friends anymore. Anyway, he apparently "found god" and started getting pretty into the idea of government conspiracey and things like that. Well I never believed in God, because none of my family did and there was always things about it that never made sence to me. Me and Brad talked for a long time one night, where he explained things to me and talked about why we should always love and help other people. Him talking with me about this, helped me make sense of it and now I do believe in God. I don't think he understands how much good he could do in the world because he is so smart (not very friendly at all) but very smart. Im not one hundred percent sure why I like him, hes just so mysterious and so different from all the immature highschool guys, im just drawn to him. Hes also not one to be like "Yea I like bitches and hoes, lets go fuck." I told him one time how much I like him and (because I was drunk of corse) and I told him that I wanted to have sex with him and he asked me "What would that do for us?" and I said that I thought he would like me better, and he explained to me that sex isnt what life is about and how you can have just as many fun and loving experiences without having sex. I was actually really relieved to hear him say that and I really care for him. I've told him but he has problems with peeople getting too close. When he thinks he may be starting to like or trust someone he pushes them away. Hes done this about three times so far, the worst time was when he actually let himself stay the night at my house (we didn't talk for like two months). I've told him how I feel, but with his little "im going to push you away problem" I don't think im getting anywhere. I would love for him to want me back, but all I really want is for him to be happy. I'd give anything in the world if I could just be there for him to help him do things, or be someone to talk to. I want to make him happy but I dont know how. So, what im saying here, is, well im not asking for ways to get him to like me, I just want to know what you think about the situation and maybe you could help me find ways to help him. Thats all I want to do is just make him happy. Even if im not the one who makes him happy, thats all I want for him, but I have no idea how to go about doing it. Also, im only going to be a junior and hes going to be a senior. Im afraid I wont ever see him again after the school year. Telling him that obviously isnt helping him understand how much I care, and maybe the only reason I do care so much is because I think I can help in some way. So please tell me what you think, i'd appreciate it so much. Again, im sorry it was so long I just feel like you can help me. Thank you.
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
First of all, please don't apologize for being long-winded. Remember from my profile that I want to be a pastor/preacher. We're notorious for being long-winded. I applaud your friend for realizing that sex will do nothing good for your relationship. That is maturity beyond his years, especially in this day and age. I hope you realized the truth in what he said. It sounds like you really do want him to be happy. Did you know that God wants him to be happy too? And God wants you to be happy. And God prescribes in His Word what will make you and your friend happy. Do you know what that is? Obedience to His commands. Now instead of bore you and turn you off by listing out a whole bunch of commands, allow me to tell you what Jesus says. He said that all the commandments in the Word of God hang on, or are wrapped up, in just two commands. What are they? First, love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Basically, love Him first, best, and most. And secondly, love your neighbor as yourself. People say that you need to "love yourself more." Well, the Bible assumes (rightly, of course) that we love ourselves already. So it says to love others like you love yourself. So the equation goes like this: Loving God + loving others = happiness. You say, can it be that simple? Yes. Loving God and loving others means everything you do must be for the good of others and the glory of God. Now, we as humans, are in unredeemed flesh and we still sin. But we have an advocate with the Father who is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. All we need do is ask. Now, let's apply this. If you want to do what is good for Brad, then here are a couple of suggestions. Since there is an obvious physical attraction on both parts, stay in groups. Don't tempt him or yourself to engage in sexual activity. God says this is wrong. Second, if he has problems "letting people in," then you must find a way to get around his wall without busting it down. It is his responsibility to break down his walls. He will just resent whomever tries to force him. When someone has a wall up, it is a manifestation of his/her fear of being vulnerable. What he needs to learn is that in order to impact people's lives, he must be vulnerable. Jesus Christ was verbally and physically attacked all the time and yet He still died to save those who attacked him. THink about Judas Iscariot. Jesus let him be in his closest circle of friends for 3.5 years knowing that Judas would betray Him. That's vulnerability. Build Brad's trust. Be there to listen. Take up for him, but not when he's around. That will not help his insecurity. Be a true friend. And that's all I would suggest trying to be right now - a friend.
Now let me address a couple of things with you. First, you said that Brad "found God" and because of a chat you had with him, you now believe in God. Did you know that demons believe in God? That's right. Jesus said that demons believe in God and tremble with fear and respect. So how do we distinguish our belief from the demons? Demons believe that Jesus is the Son of God but reject Him as Lord and Savior. Their belief doesn't affect their behavior. Have you trusted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior? Believing that God exists is great, but in order for one to be saved, he/she must accept what Christ did on the cross and place faith in Him alone. It's not faith plus works. True, saving faith will produce good works, but good works won't save you. I hope you've trusted Christ as Savior. Without that, nothing else we've discussed is possible. Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6). This is every person's greatest need. If you've never accepted Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord, you can do that right now. I hope this has helped. If you need more help and/or have any more questions, please don't hesitate to ask. That's what I'm here for.
--ByReasonofUse
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