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you would think that a person with some family background issues would be too troubled to find more reasons to sabotage herself...but i did it again.
i like a classmate, and she sits next to me. she's everything im not. she's perfect...at least in my eyes. i despair of ever being worthy of her. she's everything im not. maybe im desperate to find acceptance and love, or just a form of admiration, i don't really know. i wish i was somebody, or something, that can always be by her side, that she trusts, that can care and protect her as much as i want you. deep inside, i really hope she'll discover how i feel towards her, but then, i know it's wrong and she'll never approve of it.
they say that as long as you're under eighteen such relationships are just teenage infatuations. i don't dare to confide in anyone else, but then, you don't know me as me. i think im sick, but i do fantasize about us being together. i try to concentrate on my work a little harder, im putting in about sixty hours a week at two different jobs, but everything i put effort in i can't help thinking i do my best for her.
thanks for listening,
mich
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Dear mich,
i'm so terribly sorry i didn't reply earlier! please accept my deepest apologies.
well, it takes alot of courage to admit your feelings for your classmate. i'm glad you're able to identify how you feel. :) you sound sort of confused though. i think those of us who have ever liked someone all feel this way. like, you secretly like him/her but you're too scared to let him/her know, right?
i can tell you really want to be at least a good friend to this girl. it's great of you to offer your friendship. :) however, if you feel that this is wrong, and you know she won't approve, then perhaps you should let your love/admiration stay as just friendship. it's always good to be friends. you should try to find out her views on this matter. maybe you could have a talk with her.
you must be really exhausted, with your hectic work schedule and all. i can see that this issue really weighs heavily on your mind. as i'm not a professional, you might want to speak with a counsellor regarding this. you say you don't dare to confide in anyone else, but you just did to me. so, talk to someone. a counsellor doesn't have to be someone you already know. that person can be a total stranger. :)
i wish you all the best and do let me know if you have any other trouble. :)
love,
xt :)
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