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Question Posted Friday June 24 2005, 1:50 am

dear ms xt, i have fallen for a girl in my school but i am not sure if she likes me! we are pretty good friends and she used to drop subtle hints about liking me too. Unfortunately i never had the courage to tell her the truth, so i guess she's moved on already. ive tried to move on myself too, magnifying her flaws to convince myself that i really should not like her. for a moment, i really psychoed myself to believe that she is such an ah lian who talks loudly and is ugly. i even hooked up with another girl in order to forget her. but whenever she calls me up the sound of her voice just makes me melt inside again. i cant seem to forget her! what should i do??

l0st bo!


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xt answered Friday June 24 2005, 6:28 am:
dear l0st bo!,

ah. who doesn't know the feeling of liking someone but not knowing if that person likes you back? firstly, how do you know that she's moved on already? has she got a boyfriend right now? (let's call her A for convenience) secondly, are you still with the girl that you hooked up with? if both you and A are currently unattached, now might be the time to tell her how you feel! since she dropped hints that she likes you, it's obvious that the feeling is mutual! if you feel awkward telling her in person, you could try doing it over msn or the phone. if she rejects you, you can still remain friends with her like in the past.

however, if either or both of you are attached, it would not be advisable for you to go after her, as that would be cheating on your girlfriend, B. however, your hooking up with B to forget A isn't really fair to B as she is being taken for a substitute. don't despair though, you and B might develop real feelings for each other with time. if you feel B isn't suitable for you, you should end it as quickly as possible to avoid hurting B more.

it's good that you took steps to forget A, but since she is your good friend and calls you up regularly, it would be difficult to do so. you mentioned that "the sound of her voice just makes me melt inside again". i think that means you still have feelings for her, right? you must be feeling quite furstrated right now. do try to remind yourself that she/you is attached (if she is) and it is morally wrong to covet another person's treasure. you can still remain good platonic friends. remember, don't despair. there are many girls in this world. i'm sure that if it doesn't work out for you and A/B, you'll find your miss right someday. :)

take care and do update me on how it's going okay? good luck! :)

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