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i have almost no friends. i have no friends at school...i don't know why really, it's because i came in the middle of the year and by then everybody already had friends. people have tried being friends with me but i don't know...i kind of screwed it up with being really shy and all. that was a mistake, and i know better now, but that was about 2 years ago. i only have pretty much one friend, my best friend, who goes to another school. but lately she's been kind of ignoring me, i think she's busy with something. but seriously, i need to make friends. i always feel like such a loser. i need friends...i don't know what to do!! and i have a reputation at school for having no friends! i've even been called a stalker! please help!
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Well, I can understand that you must feel lonely. If you have a reputation for being a stalker, then maybe you are trying too hard. BEing friends should come naturally. But yes it is hard to make new friends in a situation like yours, joining this school in the middle of the year. I guess you had to move. And I know many kids, as grown ups who say that the most traumatic time of their childhood was when their parents moved and they had to change schools. It is awful. Awful hard, for you. I don't know a lot about your home situation, but if a divorced prompte the move, well that is no help to you either. Your parents should be helpding you through this.
I don't know, isn't there one other kid in school, one that no one pays any attention to, that feels the way you do, and that is treated the way you are? Can you find a way to approach that person. They need a friend too. YOu don't have to be the most popular. Or be with the most popular group. I think you already know that. '
Kids are so self conscious about how they appear to the peers at school. And while I can tell you that this is a waste of time and energy, you can't change how you feel, just because I tell you that in 20 years it won't matter. (Even though it won't)
I can tell you that when you become an adult, and you will before you know it. you will find that grown ups are much easier to get along with. You will make good friends in college or at your job. ONe way to ensure that is to be more interesting. Be smart and know a lot about a lot of things. Find something that you are passionate about and learn it and/or do it. When you are gown up, and I 'm talking 18/19/2o, etc. and later, if you love bicycling, you can join a bike club and meet people that you have something in common with. If you love reading you can join a book reading club and meet other people like you. etc. etc.
The more talents and interests that you have, the more chances you have to meet people that have the same interests.
I find that in middle school and high school, many of the kids are friends, ONLY because they all go to the same school. They don't have much in common, just that they go to the same school. Someone in the group is more opinionated than the rest, and she tells everyone how they should be dressing, what kids of shoe are cool, and which boys are the hottest, and everyone goes along with it just because they want to stay within the group. Young adults don't act like that. The friends you make as a young adult won't require that you like what they like, or dress like they dress, or think the same guys are hot. You will be entitled to your own opinion and tastes and your friends will like you just because of who you are.
HOney, this is the best way I can put it.
THis time in your life is very short. 1 - 18 years. just 18 years! You are going to be an adult for 60, 70, 80 years, I hope! And your adult life will be what matters. You'll look back on this time and wonder why you were so anguished about it. Everyone grows up and everyone realizes that they way thy behaved in middle school and high school was really stupid.
I think the best thing you can do for yourself is start to prepare yourself for your young adult hood and life outside of high school. Take business courses in school, or take college prep courses. REad a lot, and learn to love your own company. And build your self esteem by accomplishing things like volunteer work. redecorating your room, starting a paper route,or your own little business walking dogs for your neighbors. Think of projects you can get involved in. Can you volunteer at the library. Maybe these all seem boring to you but you know what, when the adults you help out tell you how wonderful you are, and what a great help you are, and how smart you are, it is going to put a smile on your face. While at school, mostly everyone there would be threatened by your intelligence and abilities. So you do this just for you, and be patient for that day when you are an adult and you are in control of your life. The smarter and more capable you are, people will seek you out to be your friend and will want to know you.
I know, it happened to me. I was very lonely in High school. I didn't have a lot of friends, I was very shy. I have a wonderful life now, and when I went to my 30 year high school reunion. I had accomplished a lot more in my life and was very successful, that most of the girls that gave me a hard time and would not be my friend and left me lonely. They were embarrassed because they ended up loosers.
You don't sound like a looser, you just sound like someone whose "great life" hasn't started yet. Good Luck to you.
Michele
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