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is it true
zapreth you gave an excellent professional advice last time to me. thank you for your help.
but here's another one.
well as i have been browsing thru this site, i find children of 15 yrs or 17 yrs having sex and then repenting, confused, guilty etc ! are all these true, do children in your place really involve in all such activity in such a young age?
well, is the society same as they potray in american videos and movies? well how far and well do you people rate virginity? approximately how many women in your part still are virgin and firmly believe in it and in family values, please do enumerate on this topic, my friend i would be really grateful to you. thank you.
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OK, the difference between Southerners and the rest of the USA.
First let me define the region of the USA agreed upon to be THE SOUTH. When America was being explored two men named Mr. Mason and Mr. Dixon (I have NO idea what their first names are. Most eveyone knows who these men were in the South and they are just called Mason Dixon. No and, no Mr. A proud Southerner is expected to know two men are being talked about.) explored the country. Where they stoped, they placed a stone and left a line of these stones from East to whereever they quit and turned to go home. Excuse me for being vauge on the details. I haven't studied Alabama history since the 9th grade. Anyway, this line of stone is called the Mason-Dixon Line and divides the Northern half of the country from the Southern. (It doesn't actually stretch across the country. It was completed and a part of our history long before the drives to California.) Dixie is a reference to the Mason-Dixon Line. The song "Away Down South in Dixie" is talking about the land below the Mason-Dixon Line. So, now you have an idea about WHERE in the USA Southerners come from.
Having been settled first and having much harsher winters, the North became leaders of industry and factories, and importing. Large cities grew from this. The South specialised in Agriculture. With our mild winters, good rainfall and one of the largest, richest rivers in the world, The Mississippi, supplying fertile soil, this made perfect sense. The problem was labour to work this land. In the years before machine farm equipment, everything was done by hand. However most of the richest land was owned by only a few people. To them it made no economical sense to pay wages, when they could pay for a lifetime of work at one time by purchasing a slave.
In the North slaves and indentured servants (people who paid for their passage to America by bonding themselves as slaves to a master for a certain number of years. The Master would pay the passage and work the immigrant like one of his slaves with the same punishments for attempted escape to them as to the mostly African slave populace.) had little practical use. The North realized the injustice of slavery and put laws in motion to free all slaves. Needless to say this would ruin the major land holders in the South. To lose their slaves meant they had no means of cheap labour to gather crops and their profits would drop to nothing. Then again, what was to be done with the freed people?
Most of the masters had treated their slaves as though they truely were nothing but anilmals. It offended them that non-human slaves should be accorded the respect of a white man. For so long there had been this caste of respect in the South. Wealthy White land holders with vast land and many slaves. Lesser White land holders. Wealthy white men of whatever profession. Small land owners (these people usually had few if any slaves.) And so on down the list till you reach the prostitutes and homeless. Slaves and Native American Indians are not on this list. They were not thought of as people, but animals.
So the Civil War began. Understand that slavery was not the ONLY reason for the war, only the economic fator that had land holder supporting the Confederate Army. What had the common Southerners ready to fight had nothing to do with the slavery of Africans. Most of these soldiers were poor and barely made enough to feed their families. Owning slaves meant next to nothing to them. They felt that the people of the North by passing these laws were attempting to take their rights and force them to obey the Northerns' laws as though the South was a child that had no say in its own future. In other words, the common Southern man saw the North betraying them and treating them as England had before the Revolutionary War. They had a right to make their own choices about the slaves and any thing else they deemed needed taking care of. The North didn't need to stick a hand in their business and try to control them.
So, the Southern States rebeled against the North. Civil War. Not that everyone thought this was such a good idea. I come from Alabama, while the rest of the state joined the Confederacy, one county refused. But they also refused to support the Union. They ceded from both and became the Free State of Winston.
I wish I had more time to fill you in on the rest of this, but this much history should give you the begining of a clue to why we are different. In Great Brittan, Enland is to Scotland as The North is to The South. (The history of blood and hatred isn't nearly as long or heart rending, but the feeling is similar as I can come to the actual thing.) There is still distrust and a sense of messing where they don't belong when a Northener comes South. Although we are always hospitable. Southern Hospitality is not just a phrase. We say thank you, and please, and excuse me, and sir, and miss. We open doors for strangers and say hello. We bring gifts of food as comfort to the grieving and would feel guilty not to offer a cool drink to the Devil if he came knocking.
**Warning: I tend to pound a subject to death. Hope that's what you wanted.**
This is a very complicated subject, but I'll give you my best insight. Let us start with the easiest question first. One thing I can tell you with absolute surety. Life is NOTHING like the movies and videos you see that are so popular. You see, the point of good fiction is to be believable. Just enough real life is thrown into to the story line for people to identify with the characters and the situations they find themselves in. (I have a college degree in creative writing and film. Fiction, I understand very well.) What I am saying is that if a person can really believe that what they are watching is NORMAL, they are completely clueless. I know my life wouldn't make a tv series or movie worth watching, and I have not lived a dull,happy go lucky, no drama here existance. Have you ever seen the movie Hysterical Blindness with Uma Thurmon? That slow, depressing couldn't make it through the whole thing bore is the closest movie I've seen on the screen to real life. Based on a True Story movies? Just that, based. They take something called "Artistic License." This is not "The names have been changed to protect the innocent." This is let's add some crap that never happened, guess about a few things here, change how this happened COMPLETELY, throw in a few more characters to add more complexity to the plot, so people will actually find this story interesting "Artistic License." What you have left is a nearly complete fiction built around real people and events, sort of like a Historical Romance in my opinion.
Next, I don't know where you are from. I live in America and around the time I was born and the decade before (1972) there was a movement called the Sexual Revolution. Since I wasn't there, I'll tell you what I've learned about it from historic accounts of the 60's and 70's. The English speaking world once had very strict rules about sex and proper sexual conduct. Marriagable girls were virgins. Boys seemed to be expected to know a thing or two about it before marriage. They learned by taking advantage of Bad Girls and whores. Bad Girls are girls who, for whatever reason, have had sex before marriage. They were thought damaged for marriage, but good enough to take on a date to get some easy action in the back seat of a car or in some cases straight forward rape, just because everyone KNOWS she was only saying no to be hard to get. Whores, prostitutes have never been well respected because they want money in exchange for sex. Violence and crimes of all kinds have been taken out on these women for centuries, because no one in PROPER society cared to think about them. One less was nothing worry about. Sometime in the 60's and the drive to get greater and more equal rights for women and the push for peace in the Vietnam, the duality of sexual conduct between the sexes seemed to collide. (Also lots of drugs.) I am not an expert in all this, but it seems to make sense that the Era of Free Love would include everyone, male and female. Some of the the beliefs and excesses from this era was taught to the children born during this time.
For me, my mother and father never joined in the Hippie Love Fests. They were too busy caring for their children and trying to keep a roof over our heads. What they got from that time was a firm belief in self reliance and the desire to teach their children openmindedness and equality. I'm from Alabama, center of the Bible Belt ( a region of southern states know for strict religion) and site to some of the most historic battles and marches for Black Civil Rights in the country. So, you can see that regional factors play a big part in the morals and beliefs practiced across this country.
Another product of this era is the reduced restrictions on divorce laws. It became simple to marry and divorce and it even seemed fashionable to collect husbands and wives. Marriage became nearly as easy a state to be rid of as the color of your kitchen walls. It seemed no one was satisfied with what they had and families split-up with regularity never known before. As I was growing up phrases like, single parent homes and latch-key kids were becoming news. I remember seeing a news special report on latch-key kids. These kids usually came from a single parent home, a mother, who was forced to work instead of being able to pick her child up from school. Further these poor women could not afford a sitter so these kids were left to their own guidance sometimes until very late hours.
Those single parents kids and latch-key kids are the mothers and fathers of the age group you are asking about. My age group is responcible for the 12-17 years olds sniffing, cutting, and boozing, and having sex, and feeling guilt a child should never have to feel. Most of these parents have no IDEA how to build a sound moral structure into their children, because they have never even seen one. The majority of the kids on this site, I would bet have a jumbled view of morals and life lessons built from what their parents have been able to supply them, the occational religious teaching that has seeped in through the years, and what they learn from tv and their peers.
There are strong families in this country that teach thier children what they need to know. Loving single or both parent families who understand that a child needs stability to become firm in their own beliefs and to be able make responcible choices with thier lives dispite the pressure to try this and experience that.
Yes, kids this age in my area are not only having sex, but children. Grandmothers are being forced to raise their children's children because there is no one else that can. Young girls and boys barely old enough to hit puberty are contracting deadly sexual diseases. There are plenty of young ones in this age group that are virgins, but virginity seems to be something to be ashamed of. Of course a girl who has sex is still a Bad Girl, only now she's just called a slut. But unlike before, now the good girls aren't the ones who get married first. Now the good girls somehow real pressured into thinking that sex before marriage is expected or they aren't normal. They seem to think that just because they have been going out with a guy for awhile that she should "put out." The difference between a marriage and a boyfriend of a few weeks or months doesn't seem to exist. Like is suddenly a good enough reason to let a guy stick his fingers up you.
How well virginity is rated in this country is wildly varied. We are a country nearly the size of a continant. Views are based on religious views, peer pressure, economics (there are certain segments of women who become pregnant just to live off the governement. They don't work, just breed. For this they are supplied vouchers for food, special housing, and many other things in support of the children. This is not a rich way to live, but it is a means of survival and many of these woman know no other way.) Poor areas of our country can be found in every city. In these places Sex is a means of getting what you need, and children are not protected from the harsh realities of the adult lives.
How well family is valued seems to be a personal thing more than regional, or even based on views of virginity. One of the biggest sluts I've ever known, was that way BECAUSE she wanted a family more than she valued her self respect. All she ever wanted in life was a man and children to take care of. She would be willing to treat her husband like a king, never cheat on him and give him as many children as her body could create. Well she finally married an ex-convit with an ex wife and child. She treated him like a king, never cheated on him, gave birth to two boys. He cheated on her with his ex wife and got thrown back in jail for something I don't remember. They are now divorced, and she has two kids and does everything in her power to provide a good home for them. She doesn't sleep around at all and is going to school to get a better education so she can care for them better.
Myself, I graduated college, remained a virigin for the man I would marry, married him and had divorced him with no children to show for it within 4 years. I was his second wife. He is currently on his third. I have no idea where the lesson in that is, but it's somewhere in there.
Well, I know I wandered off the point somewhere, but I hope I've answered or given you some idea about the subject you asked me about. Next time just choose one small point at a time, and maybe I'll do better. Luck and Love!
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