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This question was recently sent to my inbox, but the person asking it deleted it before I had a chance to answer. Questions tend to stay in my inbox for a while before I answer, especially when they're good questions asked by someone who's super better at advice than me.
Anyway, here it is:
I love you selectopaque.
I've recently discovered I like a friend of mine, who is Austrian I guess in heritage/ethnicity/whatever. I think he might like me also but that doesn't matter at this point, I'm still trying to figure out if I like him entirely. He once mentioned something where he referred to himself as "Aryian", which I didn't think that people normally would call themselves unless they were pro-nazi (I know this probably seems ridiculous) in values? Maybe I'm just crazy. I also think he could be against homosexuality, but I can't tell for sure if he is just making jokes and not being serious or if these are things he actually believes. Is there any way I can tip toe around this and find out how he feels about these things (racial supremacy, homosexuality and such) because it's a pretty touchy subject for many? I'm not entirely sure how to go about finding out because I really need to know before I even consider developing more feelings for the guy. Also, if I find out that he does think these things, is it better to just start avoiding him (I usually have to go out of my way to encounter him) or should I tell him I think he is disgusting for thinking these things? Heh. I don't know, help me!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Has he referred to himself as Aryian more than once? It's a little odd. Next time he says it, you could ask jokingly "What, are you a nazi or something?" I'm not sure if that's too blunt to just come out like that, but that seems like something I would do.
I don't know how well I can help you about the homosexuality, but I've sort of been in the same situation recently. I didn't really have a reason to wonder if this guy was against homosexuality, but, I can't get close to someone who is, so I have to know for sure.
In my situation, I just mentioned friends that I have who are gay and judged his reaction. I also made a joke about going to "Spectrum" the gay bar down the road. To me, it seems like if a guy can good naturedly joke about these things, without getting offended or grossed out, then that's good.
Yeah, it's a pretty touchy subject, but it seemes like it would only be a problematic touchy subject if he was a nazi bigot. So, I think you should attempt to ask him about these things. If he freaks out, then screw him.
For how to react if you find out that he does think these things: I would do what ever will make you feel better. I don't usually see any of these kind of people being capable of change, and he would most likely shrug your anger off and go about his asshole-ness like before. But, I do know how wonderful it can feel to tell an asshole off.
It might be one of those situations where, if you don't tell him how you think he's disgusting, and get it off your chest, then you might end up thinking about it too much.
At least that's how things end up for me. I'm much more likely to get over a situation if I can get everything off my chest about the situation.
After you do that, then just avoid him.
I don't know if I helped, but I feel loved! Yay!
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