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who i am
hey ive asked this question awhile ago before.. but I was wondering if you could help.. im having trouble with like finding out who i am.. for some reason im always thinking about what other people are thinking.. and i care about whta they think.. and if i think i did something wrong i wont stop thinking about it.. i think about everything too much! just random things...like little stupid things i will always remember and I dont know why... i dont know what I like.. because im always concerned with what others like... i dont know what to do... i dream alot too.. i have a big imagination.. ive never had a real boyfriend and i always dream about the guy i like having a perfect relationship.. i know everyone does that but i seem to be doing it alot more than normally... sorry if i confused you but could you help me?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
Hi! To start off with, let me say that I think you are on the right path, since you are at least able to recognize what the problem is. That is sometimes the hardest step. This is a sort of a tough question, because only you can be the one to figure out 'who you really are,' but I can try to help point you in the right direction...
From what you wrote, it seems like you focus too much on the past. Try focusing more on what is going on around you right then, instead of events that happened awhile ago. The past is not something you can change, but you can make a difference in what your future is. Try to live 'in the moment,' and try to absorb everything that goes on around you, this might help you refrain from focusing on what people think of you. When you find yourself doing that - thinking about how others regard you, or if people remember a silly mistake you made - try to remember this. How often do you pay attention to your peer's mistakes, and remember them, or think less of them for those mistakes? Probably not very often, or never. The same is true with them! If you make a silly mistake, usually no one even notices! And if they do notice, they don't care, because they make mistakes too.
Now, you also said that you don't know what you like because you base it on what other people like. Try this. Make a list of things that YOU think describe you. Not how you think other people would describe you, I want this to be a list of how YOU think you are, even if its stuff nobody knows about or that you can't seem to be in front of your friends. Maybe you have got a great sense of humor, but are too bashful to use it in a group. Maybe you have great artistic talent, but are too concerned about how others would view your art to truly express yourself that way. Anyways, try making this list. When you finish it, you should have a better idea of what represents you. What are some things you excel at? Sports? Writing? Music? Join a club or extracurricular activity that has to do with those, and you will find yourself amongst people with the same interests as you. I think all you might need is just to find a group of people that you really feel you connect with. Often times, if people hang around with people they are not comfortable with, they find it hard to be themselves for fear of rejection, or teasing. So, they mold themselves into being like the other people in their group, and forsake all the unique things about them that make them so special, and they cover up these things to 'fit in.' Maybe this is similar to your situation, and if that's the case, I encourage you to find friends that you can be yourself around, and who you won't be so concerned about self-image around.
Don't worry about having a 'big imagination.' Thats a great gift! Everyone has dreams, so dream away, just don't get so swept away in dreaming that you can't face reality anymore. I really hoped this helped a little, please leave me a message in my inbox if you ever need someone to talk to, or some more help! Good luck, and I hope you figure things out soon!
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